Xenophobia: Pride and Prejudice

Chapter Twenty-four

2009-03-23T14:57:00.001Z

Xavier intently studied the items he’d laid at his feet, glancing at the cross-legged boy a short distance from where he sat. A satisfied smile played upon the man’s face as the objects began to lift from the floor, slowly floating upwards as though carried by a rising volume of water.

“Keep going,” he encouraged, “As high as you can.”

The objects continued to elevate, and Xavier soon found himself needing to crane his neck to keep an eye on their progress. Eventually they hit the ceiling, and Xavier looked back at his student.

“Wonderful,” he grinned, “Now bring them back down, gently.”

The water trickled away, causing the objects in question to sink slowly back to the floor. Xavier watched proudly as barely a glimmer of concentration showed on Johnny’s face.

“I knew you had potential,” he remarked to himself, “Perhaps this is even too easy for you, eh?”

Buzz rested against the backrest of the bench, strangely calm as he watched the horizon. Below the seemingly serene shell, however, a storm was beginning to brew as he once more chastised himself on his previous behaviour, with Ripp in particular.

Okay, now remind me – what was your beef with Ripp kissing a boy again?

What’s brought this on?

Just answer the question.

Why?

Just do it...!

Oh alright. Let's see; because it’s disgusting?!

Why?

Because... ... I don’t know, just something that’d been rammed down my throat at school I guess.

So why did you listen? Ripp didn’t.

Yeah, and I bet he’s getting grief at school too.

Is that what you’re afraid of?

Afraid? I’m not afraid of anything...

Oh yes you are. Think really hard, back to that moment at home when you were his age…

The words had leapt from the pages to capture the interest of the passing teenager. After being told there was no place for homosexuals at his school, he was now reading about the unprovoked murder of an innocent man. A finger of ice ran up the length of his spine, causing him to shiver involuntarily as he swallowed a lump in his throat.

“What’s this you’re reading?”

Buzz didn’t hide the fear in his eyes as he looked up at his father, even though this time he seemed to be sober, and therefore harmless.

Chip tugged the pages at an angle to allow a better view of the headlines, and frowned as he plucked the paper from his son’s young fingers.

Buzz studied his father’s reaction intently as he read the corresponding story.

“Sweet Jesus,” the man remarked, “I can think of better reasons to kill a guy...”

Buzz heaved an inward sigh of relief, although just the thought that it happened at all was enough for him to curl up on the couch in fear.

Chip folded up the paper with an angry sigh and tossed it to the table, before his grey eyes rested on the seated muscular form. He frowned as he wondered whether or not to approach him.

“Buzz?”

The youth glanced up at the man, before returning his gaze to the arm of the sofa. Lost in his thoughts, he was only vaguely aware of the cushions giving way beside him.

“Come on, what’s up?”

“Nothin’,” came the vague reply.

“Are you gay?”

Buzz’s heart jumped into his throat at the abrupt nature of his father’s question. He was quick to shake his head as he leapt to his feet, tearing up the stairs to his room.

Liar.

Look, what is this?! Why are you bringing this up now?

You’ve been taking out your fears on Ripp, haven’t you? All this time you’ve been so afraid of the truth, and look what it’s done to you.

Yes, alright. Is this going anywhere?

Do you remember the way Stephan touched you at lunch? Remember when I said “Don’t blow it ‘cause it’s your last chance”? There was more in that than you may realise.

“Oh fucking hell...” he moaned, cradling his head in his hand. He gazed for a moment back at his arm, the fingers of his free hand lightly brushing the spot Stephan had touched him. He burst from his seat as his head was forced out of the sand into the harsh winds of reality, a hand clutched to his mouth as he began to pace and voice his thoughts.

“I knew something was up in that chat,” he muttered, “If I’d had a clearer head on my shoulders I’d have reacted very differently, and I’d have lost who seems like a good friend. Instead he gives me the slap in the face I’ve needed for decades...”

He paused for a moment as he checked his watch, his eyes widening as he sprinted back to base.

“Okay,” the army therapist began as the formalities ended, “Do you have any particular goals you’d like us to achieve?”

Buzz looked back at the woman facing him, all thoughts of Stephan and Ripp gone from his mind for now.

“Yes,” he replied, “There’s three things I can think of.”

“Which are?”

“First off, to be able to cry,” he told her, “Second, which I hope will tie in with the first, is to stop acting like my father and start acting like myself. Third, to find out what really happened when Dad tried to kill me...”

“I take it you approve?” Johnny checked with a cheeky grin. Ripp’s naturally playful manner was beginning to rub off on him.

“Certainly,” Xavier smiled in reply, “You’ve been doing incredibly well. I’m impressed!”

“Really?” Johnny checked, a happy grin spreading across his face.

“Sure,” Xavier assured, “I said you showed promise, didn’t I?”

The smile slowly slipped from Johnny’s lips as he gave a satisfied nod. He glanced back at Ripp, who was still curled up on the floor and sucking at the lonely digit of his right hand, and the euphoria evaporated as he looked with urgency at his teacher.

“I think I know why he’s suddenly suckin’ his thumb,” Johnny remarked as he confided in his friend, “This is the first time I’ve seen him do it...”

“What do you mean?” Xavier asked, growing serious, “What’s wrong?”

“Mom says he’s at breaking point,” Johnny uttered, the sadness brimming over into his eyes as they began to sting, “He’s been actin’ just like a little boy lately; I've had him snugglin’ into my arms like I was his mom or somethin’...”

“What is the situation with his mother?” Xavier checked, already coming to a conclusion.

“She walked out when he was little,” Johnny explained, “He said they were very close, but we found out she’s recently died.”

Xavier nodded as he studied the sleeping form.

“I’ll bet that’s where he is now,” he guessed, “It sounds like he’s living in the past, specifically that time when she was still in his life.”

“Yeah, good point,” Johnny agreed as he once more gazed back at his boyfriend. “There’s this girl at our school, we saw her earlier. He called her Mom and was clinging to her for dear life.”

“Mm,” Xavier mused, “Could just be that he’s grieving.”

“Huh,” Johnny considered, “Never thought of that. A lot’s happened though, maybe that’s somethin’ to do with it?”

“It all may be a factor, yes.”

Johnny tapped his thumbnail against his teeth as the cogs began to turn in his mind.

“You say I can learn to read minds,” he began, “Would I be able to help him that way?”

Xavier straightened nervously as he rubbed at the nape of his neck.

“You’re only now starting to move things, Johnny,” Xavier warned, “Telepathy’s a dangerous gift to have.”

“You said I had potential,” Johnny reminded, his voice beginning to quake in desperation, “Please Xavier, you don’t know how bad things are with this guy...”

Xavier eyed the blond youth before him with a grave expression, his black eyes flitting from half-alien to human as he tuned his mental ear, picking up his student’s thoughts as he spotted the first tears trickle from his green eyes.

“Please,” Johnny persisted, “Teach me to help him...”

An empathetic sadness gnawed at the man’s heart as he gave a gentle nod. He watched as the blond boy wiped away a tear, moving closer to him as he offered his hands.

“There’s a reason we don’t usually share body contact when we meditate,” Xavier explained after Johnny had taken the man’s hands. “Now, close your eyes, concentrate...”

“Whoa!” Johnny remarked, looking about himself in wonder, “Where are we?”

“In your mind,” Xavier told him.

Johnny looked up at his mentor in awe.

“You’re in my mind?”

“That’s one of the things telepathy lets you do,” Xavier explained, “This is how you can help him.”

“By walkin’ about in his mind?”

Xavier draped an arm round the boy’s shoulders as he led him away, into a mist of swirling images that Johnny recognised as his memories.

“By helping to explore ghosts he may have hidden,” Xavier told him, “Or to gain control over those that haunt him.”

Johnny nodded as he looked about himself, a smile tugging at his lips at some of his happier memories.

“Wow,” Xavier remarked as he also observed the images of his student’s past, “For all the persecution we face for our colour, you have led a privileged life so far haven’t you?”

The smile on Johnny’s face grew wider, but also took on a sad air as he considered what he was doing here in the first place.

“Yeah,” Johnny muttered, “Unlike some.”

Xavier looked sullenly at his student, before tapping his shoulder.

“Come on,” he coaxed him, “Let’s get this door open.”

Johnny looked with a frown at his tutor as they marched onward, noticing that the mist at first increased in density as the pictures faded.

“Door?” Johnny quizzed, “What door?”

The mist gradually dispersed as the pair entered a spectral hallway lined with doors. One of them was half open, but the rest were firmly closed. All were illuminated by a blazing torch, burning with supernatural flames of varying hues.

Xavier gestured at a door that glowed with the tinge of the purple light of its torch.

“That door,” came the eventual reply. Xavier then indicated the open door, its green torch flickering with the breeze that drifted from within. “That one there is what you’ve just been learning.”

“Movin’ stuff?”

“Telekinesis, yes,” Xavier agreed, before taking him to the purple lit door.

“So I need to open this baby?” Johnny checked, resting his hand upon the solid surface.

“You need to focus on the task at hand,” Xavier told him, “These aren’t any old doors, you know. This is the forgotten area of your mind, which you’re just starting to awaken.”

Johnny gave a little nod, seemingly knowing already what he had to do. Laying the other hand upon the door, his eyelids slid downwards like blinds as he allowed himself to drift into a trance, absent-mindedly advancing as he pushed, lightly at first, on the door that had been shut for so long.

Xavier watched with a raised eyebrow as the door started to give. It shook a little as the forces sealed inside began to stir, before suddenly the door flew open, releasing a strong gust of wind that, in turn, sent all the others in the hallway bursting open in unison. It was as if a chain reaction had been set off, and he watched with some alarm as Johnny remained rooted to the spot, transfixed as his hair rustled in the wind.

“Good grief,” Xavier remarked, “There is more to this boy than I dared to imagine.”

Xavier’s eyes slowly opened, the black orbs fixed upon the young man sat in front of him. He crawled across to Johnny’s side as he laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Johnny?” he checked, “Are you alright?”

Johnny’s eyes opened, but his head shook briskly as he struggled to regain his bearings. His body swayed a little as he looked back at Xavier, but frowned as he saw at least two of his tutor instead of one.

“Whoa,” he muttered, “What a rush...”

“Are you okay?” Xavier repeated, helping Johnny to his feet.

Johnny clutched his arm as he was aided to a standing position, teetering on his feet as he wearily clutched his head.

“I feel so weird,” Johnny slurred, “Is it me or the room spinnin’?”

Xavier smiled knowingly as he hooked Johnny’s arm over his shoulder. Ripp rose as he watched all that was taking place, thoroughly puzzled.

“What the hell...?” he asked as he advanced to take hold of Johnny’s other arm, “What’s happened?”

“Neither,” Xavier replied, ignoring Ripp for now, “I’m not a bit surprised you feel strange, a lot happened in there.”

The two males helped Johnny to the couch in the front room, unloading their burden and watching as the blond boy collapsed into the waiting embrace of the cushions. Almost as soon as he did so, Johnny hauled his feet off the floor as he shifted into a horizontal position, his head resting on the seat of the sofa. His eyes closed as he drifted into an unknown state of consciousness while the other two looked on.

“What happened?” Ripp asked again.

Xavier glanced at him, beckoning with his head as he moved off towards the bookcase.

“He wanted to open one door,” came the bewildering reply, “But ended up with more than he bargained for.”

“What do you mean about a door?”

Xavier smiled awkwardly as he browsed the shelves, studying the spines of the books as he elaborated.

“Your partner shows a lot of promise,” he explained, “I was going to teach him how to unlock it gradually; it would have taken about a month on average. Instead all that knowledge has flooded his mind at once; the reason he now feels so groggy is because he can’t handle it all.”

Ripp grew alarmed as he opened his mouth, about to ask a question that Xavier now was beginning to answer.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be alright,” he reassured him, “These books will help him control what he’s released, but it will take time.”

“How much time?” Ripp asked, “What’ll he be like ‘til then?”

“It would have taken a month to release all he’s capable of,” Xavier told him, “Therefore, it would be logical to assume it’ll take him a month to work through these. In the meantime he’ll be fine, perhaps acting a little strange in the view of outsiders who don’t understand his new talents.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, it could manifest in all manner of ways,” Xavier replied evasively, “He’s now telepathic like me, which means he can hear thoughts. Until he learns to control the extent of his mental hearing, he’ll pick up anything and everything – I know from experience that, in this preliminary state, he’ll need to stay away from places where there are likely to be many people. Otherwise the noise he’ll suffer will be unbearable.”

“I can imagine,” came the reply as they made their way back to the form slumped into the sofa.

Ripp looked down at his resting lover, before returning his gaze to the man who’d been training him.

“Look,” he began, “Johnny was telling me you really don’t trust humans...”

A dry smile took hold of Xavier's face as he looked back at the brunette boy.

“With men like your father, is it any wonder?”

“It may not seem like it,” Ripp hastily challenged, “But there’s not that many people like him. We’re not all that bad...”

“Sure,” Xavier remarked bitterly, tugging at the hem of his top and lifting it up to reveal the bare green skin below. His free hand tugged at the waistline of his trousers, pulling it down enough to unmask a nasty looking scar running underneath his navel.

“Wow,” Ripp muttered, tracing its length with a finger before Xavier reset his outfit.

“They nearly killed me,” the alien man explained, “Left me there in the street to die. It is fortunate that they missed the vital organs, even more so that I was able to crawl to the nearest telephone booth to call for help. That is why I studied in Japan for several years; I had no idea about self-defence back then. We’re not a fighting race, and on a world like this it is proving to be a major problem.”

“I noticed,” Ripp acknowledged softly, “Both Johnny and his dad got into fights, but they were never the ones who started it.”

Xavier smiled sadly as he continued to drift, his feet taking on a mind of their own as they carried him a little distance across the room.

“And you only live in a small town,” he pondered quietly, “The city is far, far worse.”

Ripp slowly crossed his arms as he looked across at the man.

“If that’s the case,” he shrugged, “Why do you stay here?”

Xavier's feet sprung into life again, this time sending a message to his brain as they decided on a destination. He looked back at Ripp as he gestured for him to follow, and took him to the kitchen. He gazed out of a window, nodding in an indicative fashion at the view outside.

“This is why,” he told him, his face becoming sad as both now studied the back yard of his abode.

Ripp squinted as he peered through the translucent glass.

“What am I looking at?”

“Do you see the traffic cones?”

“Yeah,” Ripp agreed, craning his neck, “Is that some kinda crater?”

“It is,” Xavier replied, “At the bottom of that is our ship.”

“Your ship?” Ripp echoed, turning back to him, “What happened?”

“You have no idea how much junk there is floating in space around your world,” Xavier explained, “A disused satellite collided with our craft as we approached, and sent us crashing to Earth.”

“How many of you were there?”

“Two,” Xavier replied, “My twin brother Udo and I.”

He brought Ripp along to a table in the kitchen, with an urn resting upon its surface.

“Udo was the pilot,” he continued sullenly, “He died on impact.”

“Oh damn,” Ripp uttered, looking back at him, “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Xavier acknowledged, gazing sadly at the urn as he continued his story. “He doesn’t rest though; he has been keeping me company here ever since.”

Ripp gazed at him with a questioning manner.

“Huh?” he checked, “You can see ghosts or something?”

“We certainly can,” came the reply, “Johnny’s father may have lost some of his natural ability through age, although he might still be able to see them too; it's one of the easiest gifts for us to master. Johnny will, without a doubt.” He eyed Ripp carefully as he spoke again. “That’s another way he may act abnormally; if he appears to be talking to an imaginary friend, you can be sure that he’s in fact speaking with a ghost.”

“Like your brother?”

“Exactly,” came the reply, “And many others too; if any nearby ghosts discover someone able to see them, they will flock to him like moths to a lantern, so he needs to exercise caution.”

Chapter Twenty-three

2009-02-05T15:14:00.005Z

“Now remember, Big Guy,” Johnny finished as they made for Luke’s house, “Let ‘im live, okay? There’s more to this than it seems.”

“So I gather,” Tank acknowledged dryly, “Although I’d love to hear his excuse.”

“Yeah, me too,” Johnny agreed, before turning his attention to Ripp, “You gonna be okay sweetie?”

“Yeah,” Ripp nodded, snuggling up to his partner as they continued to walk. Johnny ran a hand along his back as he pecked his head, before the house in question came into view.

“There it is,” Ripp nodded as they turned the corner, his eyes resting on a familiar looking building.

“Well, here we go,” Johnny observed as they approached the door. “Now let’s be good kitties an’ keep our claws in, huh? We ain’t aimin’ for a catfight.”

As Tank rapped his knuckles on the door, movement from a distance caught Ripp’s eye. The younger boy craned his neck in a bid to investigate further, and on doing so his face fell.

“What’s up?” Johnny asked as they awaited an answer.

“Thought this place looked familiar,” Ripp mused, gesturing to a man approaching a neighbouring house. “That’s the dad of my first boyfriend.”

The man spotted his audience, and recognition registered in his face as he returned Ripp’s stare. The youth in return gave a defiant wave as the front door to Luke’s house opened, and the teenagers turned to the sight of another fatherly figure that stood in the doorway.

“Hi guys,” he greeted simply, stepping aside to invite them into his dwelling. He led them to the front room, where Luke was seated in an armchair and nibbling on a fingernail. The sight reminded the boys of how Ripp had been earlier on.

It was Ripp who broke the silence, partly out of concern and partly to get Luke talking again.

“How’d it go?”

Luke gave a little smile as he held up a bag with the mark of a pharmacy logo.

“You were right,” he conceded, “Tested positive for both of them. Gotta stay on these for about a month.”

“Sounds about right,” Ripp acknowledged with a nod.

“I had no idea,” Luke admitted, “I didn’t mean to give you anything...”

Tank and Johnny bit hard on their tongues, but Ripp showed no such restraint as he gave a scathing reply.

“You gave me plenty!” Ripp snarled, tapping his temple, “You gave me scars, tore me so bad I couldn’t walk properly for two days!”

“I know,” Luke uttered, tears stinging his eyes, “I know just what you went through, I had it myself.”

Ripp paused for a moment as he studied the red head in the chair.

“What do you mean, ‘you had it yourself’?”

“I mean I was raped,” Luke explained with a hint of impatience, before softening his manner as he began to awaken his own ghosts. “Fuckin’ grown man, too. I’ve kept away from public restrooms ever since...”

“Whoa, whoa,” Johnny interrupted, “‘Old on a minute... you were raped, so you did it to others!? That don’t make any sense!”

“Actually, yeah,” Tank countered in a hushed tone, “It does.”

Johnny opened his mouth about to question his reasoning, but had only to remember events concerning Buzz for him to close it again. Luke’s parents studied the larger of the teenagers intently before Luke’s father decided to intervene.

“I couldn’t believe it when I found him,” the man explained, “That guy was lucky to get away, ‘cause I’d ‘ave killed him.”

“We tried to persuade Luke to get it reported,” his mother added, “But he wasn’t having any of it.”

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Ripp defended.

“Why on earth not?!” Tank demanded, “It’s criminal offence after all!”

Ripp coolly eyed his brother as he replied with another question.

“Would you?!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tank retorted, “You get attacked, you have the right to report it, right?”

“That’s what we tried to explain,” the only female piped up.

Dismissing her for the time being, Ripp elaborated on the subject.

“You’ve already seen the kind of shit we face from others,” he explained, “Anything from Lilith Pleasant to General Grunt.” At this point he indicated his plastered wrist. “Now, you imagine some dude just fucked you up the ass without your consent, leaving you barely able to walk. How would you feel after something like that? An’ don’t tell me it won’t happen ‘cause you’re straight; these fuckers don’t give a shit which way you swing.”

“How about imagining you’re a gay virgin at the time?” Luke added, “I was in the closet for the very reason Ripp just mentioned; no way was I gonna add to the humiliation I was already feeling.”

“Look what happened instead,” his father reminded, “You stored it all inside, you wouldn’t even talk to us about it.”

“I couldn’t,” he mumbled, “I wanted to forget it, not relive it.”

“But you do anyways, don’t you?” Ripp acknowledged, “Or play it down as something else and live with it that way.”

“I didn’t mean it though,” Luke protested, “I told you…”

“The effect’s the same,” Tank protested, “You don’t live with him; you don’t know him like I do, and you didn’t see him when he got back home.”

Luke looked from tanned to paler youth, not making any connection between the two.

“You two live together?” he checked.

“I’m his brother,” Tank stated as he eyed the red head, “That’s why I was ready to kill you back there.”

“Right,” Luke mused as he studied the bulky teenager, before he told his story.

“As you might have gathered, it happened in a restroom while we were out one day – I won’t go into details, I’ll just say he had a knife on him that he ‘weren’t afraid to use’.”

Luke stirred in his seat as he continued, the bitterness rising in his voice as he spoke.

“That kinda thing tends to fuck you up,” he explained as he eyed the tanned boy, “I was in pain, I wouldn’t go out because I’d get paranoid about needin’ the bathroom in a public place – I wouldn’t even go to school for that reason. My life was in ruins ‘cause of an asshole I hadn’t even met and he was still walking the streets. I’d wake at night thinking he was comin’ back for me... and anyone else I tried to tell of this thought I was making it up. I just got so bitter and angry in the end, and it went inward – nothing I could do to make it go away.”

“So you took it out on others,” Tank uttered softly, nodding in acknowledgement. Regrets of his own once more rose to the surface as he saw a pattern emerging.

“It didn’t start out that way,” Luke explained, “But as me and this first guy were getting it on, something took me over – he liked it rough and encouraged me to hurt him; was probably into that pain shit anyways, but I weren’t complaining. It just felt good being the one in control for a change... it got dangerously addictive. We all need an outlet and that became mine.”

Ripp shuffled in his seat as his gaze lowered.

“What about Ripp?” Johnny asked quietly, “He ain’t into rough.”

“No, so I found out,” Luke uttered, his eyes clouding over with the onset of tears, “By that point I got so caught up in it I didn’t notice anything else, just needed to get it outta my system. The way he was yellin’ at me afterwards though, even shaking, especially the way he was limping to the cab, just brought back what I’d gone through myself. I spotted the blood on the bedclothes and saw it as my own... I’d sunk to their level without even realising it, hurt someone else just as I’d been, and it felt awful.”

Tears trickled down Ripp’s face at the reminder of the day it happened. Luke gazed at him with sorry eyes as he spoke of the events following the unpleasant encounter.

“I wanted to apologise then, Ripp,” he told him softly.

Ripp slowly lifted his head, peering mournfully back at him with glassy blue eyes, but allowed him to continue.

“In fact I went tearing out of the bedroom to try an’ catch up with you, but you’d already left in the cab,” Luke explained, “I was left feeling sick, even shaken… went back into my room, but couldn’t stay there five minutes before I threw up. Spent the rest of the day just locked away in my room, once I’d made it bearable to stay in, running over all that had happened in my mind – torturing myself with not only what happened with you, but also that time in the restroom with that jerk. Wouldn’t even come out for dinner.”

“Thankfully we did manage to coax him out in the end,” his mother added as she ran a hand along his shoulders, “It was obvious something was wrong, but at first we put it down to his own ordeal; he took the whole thing so badly.”

“Then we found out it was something else,” his father continued, “Managed to drag it all out of him, but the state he was in afterwards, it was obvious he hadn’t meant for that to happen.”

Ripp clamped his teeth upon his quivering bottom lip as he struggled to maintain his composure. Luke brushed away tears of his own as he gave a little sniff, and Tank took advantage of the break in words to give his own account of what he’d witnessed.

“I was trainin’ with Dad when he came back,” he said, “Ripp’s usually a total goofball and the loudest in the house, yet he came crawling up the stairs with not a word, just went straight to his room. It was plain even then that somethin’ was wrong, to say nothin’ of the days that followed. He was just too quiet, barely came outta his room. An’ then the itchin’ started, like he had ants in his shorts...”

“Yeah,” Ripp continued, “Was bad enough at breakfast, but it got me in class too. This guy Dustin pulled me into a cubicle during recess and started asking about my sex life – couldn’t understand it at first, until he told me I’d probably caught something. Sure enough, when I got checked out I tested positive.”

“So you an’ Dustin go back quite a way?” Tank checked.

“Yeah,” came the careful reply, “He knows some people who’ve been where I was. He recognised the symptoms and explained it to me.”

“Lucky you for having a friend like that,” Luke acknowledged.

“Yeah,” Ripp agreed, “He’s a nice enough guy.”

Luke nodded, before once more gazing apologetically at him as he rose from his seat.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered, “I didn’t mean…”

Ripp smiled sadly as he left his chair, pulling the red headed boy into his arms.

“Thanks,” he replied softly, feeling overcome with emotion as Luke’s story began to register in his mind.

Johnny anxiously checked his watch, before sharply rising to his feet.

“We gotta go,” he excused, “Ripp and I need to be somewhere.”

Tank was about to follow suit, but Luke called after him.

“Hey Tank,” Luke beckoned as he advanced, “Can I borrow you a sec? Sounds like you could do with a good talk.”

The couple once more approached the house of Ripp’s first boyfriend as they left, and the man they’d spotted before was busy washing his car.

“Hey there, Mr Lewis,” Ripp greeted cheerfully as they passed, “How’s Mike these days?”

Mike’s father arched an eyebrow as he decided to acknowledge the boy’s presence.

“No idea,” he replied nonchalantly, “Haven’t seen him for years.”

Ripp frowned, suddenly concerned as he drew closer to the man.

“How come?” he asked, “He’s not living here anymore?”

“He ran off,” came the dismissive reply, “He knows he’s welcome back if he changes his ways.”

Ripp snorted indignantly as he crossed his arms.

“You don’t just stop being gay, you know,” he growled, “I grow tired of saying this to people, but it ain’t a choice.”

Mike’s father eyed the youngster disapprovingly, but remained quiet.

“How about this?” Ripp pressed, holding up his plastered wrist, “I got this ‘cause someone couldn’t accept the fact I’m gay! You think we choose to get this shit from people?!”

Johnny stepped up behind Ripp, deciding things had gone far enough.

“Come on, sweets,” he urged, but Ripp wasn’t done.

“There’s much worse he could have done,” he continued, “Like rape, murder, dealing in drugs… What kind of son would you rather?!”

“Ripp,” Johnny urged, tugging him away.

“Some people’s kids get killed, you know,” Ripp told him as he left, “Some guys lose their parents through death… you guys are alive for fuck’s sake, just be grateful for that!”

“I’m sorry,” Ripp uttered as they walked, “I couldn’t help it – they make me so damn angry…”

“What happened with his parents?” Johnny asked, “There had to be a reason you lost it.”

“Yeah,” Ripp explained, “His family caught us making out on the sofa; not the best way for him to tell them he prefers guys. They grounded him for an insane period, and we kept in touch through that forum. When he was finally allowed out again, we started meeting up somewhere, before that guy caught us again,” he finished, thumbing back at Mike’s former residence.

“And, his family don’t like the fact that he’s gay?”

“You heard him,” Ripp reminded, “Welcome back if he changes? No wonder he upped and left.”

“Sheesh,” Johnny breathed, his head shaking in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Ripp agreed, “That’s why I lost it.”

“Can’t say I blame you,” Johnny nodded, “Although you still gotta remember, it’s someone else’s parents you’re dealing with here.”

“More chance of him listening than Dad, right?”

Johnny gave a little chuckle.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “Guess so.”

“You gotta be very careful with this guy,” Johnny explained as they reached their destination, “He got attacked soon after arrivin’ here, an’ he’s been very paranoid about humans ever since. Nothin’ that happens in trainin’ leaves those four walls, got it?”

“Sure,” Ripp shrugged as they approached the building, frowning as his partner walked up to the front door. “I’m more concerned about us going into his house!”

“I know,” Johnny admitted as he rang the doorbell, “I found it all very odd to start with. Dunno why I trusted him in the first place, but I’m glad I did. He’ll be more afraid of you than you need be of him.”

Ripp arched an eyebrow as they awaited a reply to the sound of the doorbell that reverberated within.

“The house is very Eastern influenced,” Johnny explained, “Said he’d studied a great deal in Japan.”

“Cool,” Ripp acknowledged, before both frowned as the front door opened by itself.

“Come in Johnny!” a voice beckoned from within.

Johnny shrugged as he complied, gesturing with his head for Ripp to follow.

“Does he always do this?” Ripp quizzed with a playful smile.

Johnny looked back at him with a serious expression, which tugged the smile from his lover’s lips as the door closed behind them.

“No,” he replied simply, before calling ahead as they walked further into the house.

“Xavier?” he called out hesitantly, his eyes spotting a bundle on the nearby couch.

“Over here,” a voice replied, a head peeking from the depths of the cushions.

The two boys followed their ears as they traced the sound, and were left gazing upon the green figure stretched out along the sofa.

“Hey,” Johnny greeted, briefly introducing Ripp before looking back at his teacher. “You okay? You don’t look so good…”

Xavier smiled weakly as he pulled himself to a sitting position, looking distinctly uncomfortable as he did so.

“Oh, I’ll be fine thanks,” the man replied, “Once the codeine takes effect, at least.”

“Why, what’s up?”

It was an innocent enough question, but Johnny’s brow twitched into a frown at the expectant nature of Xavier’s stare, as though studying his manner.

“Ah, I see,” came the eventual observation, “I gather your father hasn’t yet explained this to you; although you are still quite young, maybe he is merely waiting a little while…”

“Explained what?” Johnny checked, resting a hand on his hip, “What’re you on about?”

After nursing his lower abdomen with a slightly pained expression, Xavier’s hand then rubbed at the base of his head as he wore a sheepish smile.

“I probably shouldn’t be the one to tell you this,” he began awkwardly as he slowly returned Johnny’s gaze, “But Gotzoian males menstruate fortnightly, or thereabouts.”

Johnny’s jaw slowly fell open as he struggled to comprehend what he was being told.

“I beg your pardon?!” he finally checked, scratching his head as he pondered which issue to address first.

“You’re on your period?” Ripp checked, making the decision for him.

“I am indeed,” Xavier confirmed, a smile playing upon his lips as he observed the baffled alien teenager. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry yourself just yet; they don’t begin until around the time of your eighteenth birthday.”

“But I’m gonna get ‘em?” Johnny checked.

“You have Gotzoian blood in your veins, so yes,” came the reply, “They last only two days, unlike a woman’s three or four.”

“Uh-huh,” Johnny acknowledged slowly, “How bad do they get? You’re waitin’ for somethin’ as strong as codeine to kick in, that ain’t soundin’ too good…!”

“It depends,” his tutor told him, “They do tend to be worse than for females, but then some women apparently suffer badly too.”

Johnny’s head dropped at the news, nursing his brow. Ripp meanwhile slowly turned back to the seated form as something else occurred to him.

“Hold on a minute,” Ripp checked hesitantly, “Does this mean he can grow babies inside him, like women can?”

“We can fall pregnant if that’s what you mean,” Xavier replied, a playful smile upon his face, “This is why the technicians only pollinate the males. They take the eggs from their own bodies, and use the man’s sperm to fertilise them.”

A bewildered whistle escaped Ripp’s lips, while Johnny straightened as he realised the true implication of his plight. The couple looked at each other, a smile slowly spreading across their faces as they looked back at Johnny’s mentor.

“We can have a real family?” Ripp checked, but Johnny was quick to intervene as Xavier rose to his feet.

“Hey, hold your horses,” Johnny chided, yet still unable to banish the delighted smile from his own lips. “Let’s get you back on your feet first, huh?”

The oldest alien chuckled as he led them out of the room.

“You are both still young,” he reminded them as he sensed the hope brewing inside the human teenager, “And Johnny hasn’t matured enough to be able to conceive yet.”

“I know,” Ripp conceded, before excitedly presenting his case, “But to someone who’d been resigned to having to adopt later on…!”

“Later, sweetie,” Johnny grinned, his face falling as he pondered the flip-side of his predicament, “If you find me in the school halls doubled up in agony, you’ll know why!” he finished with a scowl.

“Aww,” Ripp chuckled, slipping an arm round his waist, “I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

Xavier allowed a wry smile to tug at his lips as he beckoned them into his training room, not wishing for Johnny’s sake to let on how badly he had suffered earlier in the day.

“Johnny already knows this, but I’ll explain to you quickly,” the alien man said to Ripp, “His physical training is over. From now on we’ll be beginning with meditation, which I gather you could do with too.”

“Not a bad idea,” Johnny agreed, “It’ll help you relax, hopefully refresh you too.”

“Oh, cool,” Ripp shrugged, “Okay, what do I have to do?”

Xavier seemed to be lost in concentration for a moment, and soothing oriental style music drifted softly through the air. Inviting the other two to get comfortable, he began to speak dreamily as he rested his hands on his knees.

“You may become so relaxed you’ll fall asleep,” Xavier told him, “That’s perfectly fine if you wish to do so.”

Ripp’s head tilted briefly from his spot on the floor, resting a hand on his belly as the back of his head lay on his other arm.

“Sounds good to me,” came the cheeky reply. Johnny sniggered as he knowingly shook his head.

The man’s large black eyes closed as he began to talk all three of them into a meditative state.

“Imagine yourself in a place of your choosing, where you can relax…”

Ripp’s eyes closed, his breathing deepened as he felt himself drift. He saw his special place through fresh, innocent eyes, his young face wearing a happy smile as he looked among the greenery now surrounding him.

The faintest of breezes tickled his bare skin as he began to stroll through the thicket, the blades of grass gliding between his toes as he walked. Free from the cares of the world, and even from the restrictive nature of clothes, the feeling of delight in the young boy was immense. Reaching for the ground, his little fingers plucked a fibre from the green carpet and held it to his lips, playing his new mouth organ as he continued to amble through the forest. A rustling sound could be heard some way ahead, but the young boy was not afraid; he knew he was safe here. Upon seeing the figure in the distance, he gave a delighted gasp as he dropped the grassy leaf, making haste towards the form with a happy shriek.

“Mom!”

Lyla wore a warm smile as she advanced, stepping out of the foliage before invitingly opening her arms.

“Hello Ripp,” she grinned, wrapping her arms around the naked bundle and holding him close.

“Welcome back,” Xavier smiled as Johnny opened his eyes.

Johnny gave a little salute in reply, before turning inquisitively to his boyfriend. A loving smile played upon his lips as he noticed the curled up form next to him, his head dipping closer to investigate.

“Is he asleep?” Xavier asked with interest.

Johnny gave a little nod in reply, before frowning as he leaned closer still. Ripp’s plastered hand was obscuring part of his face, but there was something strange in the way it was held there.

“What the…?” he whispered to himself as he further studied the sleeping figure, before giving a small chuckle as he sat back up. He broke into quiet giggles as he continued to watch his partner's peaceful slumber.

“Awww!” he cooed, “That’s adorable!”

Xavier eyed his student with a puzzled frown.

“What is?”

Johnny turned back to his mentor with a soppy grin stretching his mouth from ear to ear.

“He’s sucking his thumb!”

Xavier at first cocked his head in mild amazement, before, with a knowing shake of his head, he brought them both back to earth.

“Come on, back to the lesson,” Xavier hinted with a smile, “He’s obviously happy wherever he is.”

Chapter Twenty-two

2008-10-20T00:42:00.005+01:00

Lilith had seen enough. Not wishing to dive too deeply into the private affairs of people she barely knew, she decided on the safe route as she approached the boys she had once frowned upon. There was no time to allow barriers to come between them; in fact a look at the angry youth told her the red head may not have much longer to live.

“I got him,” she offered, taking hold of Ripp’s quaking shoulder, “Go on.”

Johnny needed no second instruction. Satisfied that Ripp was in safe hands, he went trotting up to the hulking presence by the wall and firmly clutched at his arm.

“Cut it out!” Johnny snapped, pulling him away from the smaller youth. Tank glared at the green youth in reply as he turned to him, and although this time his anger was justified and aimed at someone else, it still brought back memories to Johnny of their past conflict.

“Get in line, you said!” Tank retaliated in a raised voice, his fists clenched. “You know what he did!”

“If one of you’d let me explain…!” the boy protested.

Tank’s head spun back in his direction, his mouth open about to deliver another scathing reply, but Johnny silenced him with a tap on his arm.

“Hey!” Johnny bit, his tone softened as he glanced knowingly at the flame haired lad by their side, “As temptin’ as it is to tear his throat out, remember where we are. We’re all here to get help, right?”

“Me included,” the boy attested as he glowered at the bigger of the two.

Tank glanced back at him through narrowed eyes before marching off a little, slamming a fist against the wall in an attempt to ease the pressure building in his veins.

“Thanks,” the red head told Johnny with a sigh of relief, but his gratitude was short lived as the blond alien scowled at him in reply.

“Hey,” Johnny warned the lad as he waved a threatening finger, “Count yourself lucky; if it were anywhere else I’d be holdin’ you down, not savin’ your ass.”

“Look,” the young man pleaded, “When I realised what’d happened, I felt sick. I tried to apologise at the time, but he’d already left…”

Johnny crossed his arms as he studied the freckled features of the boy before him, not hiding the anger burning in his eyes.

“So how’d you let it get that far in the first place?!” Johnny exploded, “Do you have any idea what he’d already bin through before you tore ‘im open?!”

“Stop, please...” the youth whimpered, cradling his head in his hand. Johnny’s mouth opened in readiness to continue his onslaught, but on spotting the now troubled appearance of the boy before him, he soon closed it.

“It’s hard to explain, especially here,” the boy began, “I lost control, an’ by the time it was over it was too late. In fact I threw up when it dawned on me, okay?!” His voice rose in frustration and distress as he continued. “I was that disgusted at myself I was physically sick, and I shut myself in my room for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t even go down for dinner; if I couldn’t face myself, what chance did I have with my parents!?”

Johnny and Tank exchanged looks of disbelief as the half-alien’s arms loosened a little.

“You mean they know?” he checked.

The red head smiled wryly in reply.

“Yeah, they know,” he confessed, “Although they had to drag it from me after noting how quiet I was… Which they thought was something else at first, but that’s beside the point.”

He allowed the other boys a moment to process what they’d been told so far, as he gazed upon the sobbing bundle in Lilith’s arms. He nodded gently in Ripp’s direction as he continued to speak.

“I went flyin’ outta my room to try and make it up to him,” he told them, “By the time I opened the front door though, he’d already been driven away by the waiting cab.”

The others studied his body language intently as he turned back to them.

“He ain’t going anywhere now,” he hinted, “Please…”

“It’s okay,” she soothed quietly as Ripp’s tears began to dry.

Ripp turned slowly to Lilith as her words drifted into his troubled mind. As his glassy eyes fell upon her, the tears still present distorted his vision of the female by his side. No longer did he see the teenager who’d given Johnny and him grief at the festival, but someone completely different.

His eyes took on a pleading manner as he uttered a single word.

“Mom...?”

So saying, he advanced in one movement to wrap his arms around her, burying his head into her shoulder.

Lilith’s brow twitched into a puzzled frown as she caught him, but decided for now to play along. Holding him close as though they really were related in such a way, she began to stroke his head as she pondered all that was taking place. What had happened to this boy to reduce him to such a state?

A little voice in her ear gave an indication of his anxieties as he clung to her.

“He hurt me, Mom...”

“It’s okay,” she replied quietly, “He can’t hurt you now.”

“Please, just let me make it up to him...”

Johnny hesitantly eyed the youth before looking back to his partner, frowning as he spotted him nestled in Lilith’s arms. His gaze moved to Tank, both of them asking each other silently if such a move was wise. Eventually Johnny shrugged, laying a hand on the boy’s shoulder as he took them across.

Lilith looked at Johnny as they approached, speaking quietly in way of an explanation.

“He called me Mom...!” she told him, watching for a reaction.

Johnny’s head lowered in despair, while Ripp stirred from the depths of her arms, regaining his grip on reality as he looked sheepishly at her.

“Sorry,” he muttered as he pulled away, again looking crestfallen.

“It’s okay,” she told him, while Johnny approached to run his fingers through his brown mane. The red head by their side also lowered his gaze as Ripp’s situation became more apparent.

“Look,” Johnny began, “The guy wanted to say somethin’...”

As Ripp returned his gaze, he caught a glimpse of the boy in question. Suddenly his manner changed, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the lad who’d inflicted such pain upon him.

“Oh really?!” he snarled, his blood bubbling furiously in his veins as he straightened to full height.

“Look, Ripp...” the boy began, but Ripp didn’t let him continue.

“You hurt me!!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air as he began his tirade, “I dunno, was I not yellin’ or even screaming enough for you to hear the word ‘stop’, or was it just too much for you to understand?! I was in fucking agony you bastard!! We use lube for a reason y’know, I’m surprised I didn’t need stitches!”

Already the picture was painted before Lilith’s eyes of what had happened between the two, although Ripp was far from finished.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me,” Ripp continued, his voice quieter and now carrying a sardonic tone, “Remember what I said about condoms? Weren’t good enough for you to rip me open, you had to leave a couple of souvenirs too...!?”

The boy had heard enough by now. Holding up his hands, he urgently pressed forward his wish to speak.

“Whoa, whoa,” he challenged, “What souvenirs?”

Ripp looked at him in amazement, for a moment robbed of his ability to speak as he pondered his apparent ignorance.

“Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia,” he replied, frowning a little at the boy’s puzzlement, “That’s what souvenirs, didn’t you know?”

The red head shrugged helplessly in reply, before a hand sub-consciously scratched at his crotch. Ripp noticed the gesture and gave a knowing smile in reply.

“Must’ve caught ‘em off one of the others, huh?” he suggested bitterly, before indicating the youth’s uncomfortable demeanour. “That’s one of the signs y’know, intense itching?”

Something in Ripp’s last remark registered in Lilith’s mind as she sharply looked at him. Ripp seemed to notice and turned to her briefly.

“Yeah, that’s why I looked like I had itching powder in my shorts,” he explained, turning back to the now worried looking boy before them. “You’d better get yourself checked out, Luke.”

Luke was left cradling his head in his hand at the revelation, before he once more found the strength to return his stare.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “Look, um, how’s about you all come back to mine after this?” he suggested, “There’s a reason Mom and Dad stood by me after hearin’ of this.”

Ripp stared at Luke in wonder at his last statement.

“They know about this?” he checked.

“Yeah. Long story,” came the elusive response, “But you really need to hear it from them as well as me.”

Tank arched an eyebrow at Johnny, before giving a resigning shrug.

“Fair enough,” he accepted, “We can meet in the local park…”

“That won’t be necessary,” Ripp interrupted before eyeing his brother, “I still remember where he lives.”

Tank’s face fell as he realised what Ripp was implying.

“So,” he began slowly, “You not only met with strangers, you went back to their homes too?!”

“Tank,” Johnny cut in, “Not now, huh? Things are bad enough as it is.”

Ripp’s eyes played upon the carpet, wishing the pile was dense enough to consume his very soul.

“Later then,” Tank promised as he studied the smaller form before him.

“Okay, I’ll catch ya later then,” Luke nodded, “An’ while you guys are talking, I’ll go get this seen to,” he finished, tugging at the front of his jeans.

“Good idea,” Johnny agreed, but found himself talking to his back as Luke hastily left the premises.

“Yeah, that’s what I was like after school too,” Ripp explained, “Once I heard I might’ve caught something, I was straight down the clinic.”

“Look,” Lilith uttered, “I had no idea, I’m sorry...”

Ripp gave a sad smile as his previous dark cloud crept upon him once more.

“Me too,” he breathed in reply.

“Look,” Tank told her, “You never heard any o’ this, got it?”

Lilith arched a knowing eyebrow as she looked across at the muscular figure.

“Heard what?!” she challenged, “I weren’t even here, I was some place else. Saw good reason why you guys weren’t at school, but weren’t any o’ my business so I didn’t ask.”

Tank nodded in acknowledgement, a grateful smile on his face.

“Thanks,” he said, his smile taking on a dry manner as he continued. “We won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Got it,” came her reply as she excused herself from their presence.

Lilith usually dreaded the return to her home, but this time she was indifferent as she pondered all that had happened. With all that she suffered within her family, it all now seemed so trivial. She tried to imagine how it must have been for Ripp, to be violated in such a way and to be in such pain, but had to stop when she began to feel physically sick. A new question played on her mind; how did Ripp remain so calm? If it had been her she’d have torn him apart... like Tank nearly did, she remembered. Maybe he would have done it for him, given how much of a softy Ripp was.

She stepped into her abode, brought back to the present as she heard raised voices from the lounge. She followed her ears to find the surprising sight of her twin sister engaged in a heated debate with their mother – Angela was usually the good little girl whom their parents doted on.

“How can you say that!?” Mary-Sue spluttered, “It’s disgusting!”

“They’re in love!” Angela justified, “Which is more than can be said for you an’ Dad...!”

“Don’t bring us into this!”

Lilith’s lips curled upwards into a sardonic smile as she watched the exchange. She had remained quiet for long enough.

“Give the guys a break Mom,” she bit, causing the two other females to turn with a start at her sudden appearance.

“Wait,” Angela mused slowly, “This comin’ from someone who gave ‘em more stick than I did?”

“I bumped into ‘em today,” Lilith cautiously explained, “Ripp was a total mess. Turns out their mom died and Johnny’s been takin’ care of him.”

Angela’s jaw dropped at this news.

“Oh wow,” she muttered, “No wonder they weren’t at school!”

Lilith arched a knowing eyebrow, before eyeing the woman who had given life to them both.

“Y’know, somethin’ I’ve noticed about this family,” she spat, her resentment bubbling over after all she’d encountered previously, “They don’t give a shit about anyone other than themselves! They forget other people have feelings too, and that they have two daughters growing up in this place!”

Not pausing to receive any comeback, she made for the back garden and reached into her pocket as she took a seat, not noticing that she had been followed.

Angela masked her initial surprise on spotting her sister with a cigarette in her hand, but her parting remark was all it took for her to banish any misgivings about Lilith’s habit. In fact, her first intention was to address what she’d said.

“Hey Lil,” she began hesitantly as she approached.

Lilith turned her head in her direction, allowing the smoke to trickle from her nostrils as she sullenly turned away again.

“Look, about what you said...”

Lilith quietly raised an eyebrow as she flicked some ash into the grass, feeling her eyes sting.

“You never got it, did you?” she remarked softly, continuing to eye the ground. “Little Miss Perfect; parents think the sun shines outta her ass, an’ then there’s the useless piece o’ shit left over that no one cares about.”

“Dustin and I’ve been talking a lot,” Angela explained as she sat by her twin, “Gave me a lot to think about.”

Lilith nodded in acknowledgement as she drew from her cigarette.

“Wondered what had changed,” she remarked.

“Yeah,” Angela agreed, “Bet you were wondering how Ripp broke his wrist?”

Lilith turned slowly to her well-informed sister with a deliberate stare.

“I was as it happens,” she concurred, “Well, not at first, but anyways...”

“That was his old man,” Angela explained grimly.

Lilith’s eyes widened as she gaped at her sister.

“Whoa...”

“Yeah, tell me about it...” Angela replied, but trailed off as Lilith began to recite what she knew of the troubled boy.

“Lessee,” she mused, “He’s had the shit beaten outta him by his own dad, his brother’s been a total jerk before now, he’s been attacked, his mom’s died...” She scoffed bitterly as she gave her verdict. “No wonder the poor guy’s in pieces.”

“‘Old on,” Angela said, “Attacked?”

Lilith looked sharply at her as she noticed the slip of her tongue.

“Yeah,” she improvised, “I dunno the details, but he saw the guy who did it. Never seen ‘im get so mad, but thinking about it I’m surprised all he did was yell – Tank was ready to rip his throat out, so it must’ve been bad.”

“Ouch,” Angela muttered, contemplating all she’d heard from whatever source.

“Yeah, exactly,” Lilith agreed, “Kinda makes you realise how lucky we really are, huh?”

“Yeah,” Angela replied, eyeing her sister sadly, “I’m sorry Lil, I didn’t mean for any o’ this to happen...”

Lilith returned her gaze with misty eyes.

“Me too,” came the reply, before something happened that she thought she could only dream of.

“Now Dad’s gone, she’s taking her shit out on us,” Angela explained, “We can’t afford to stay apart anymore, we need to stick together.”

“Too right,” Lilith agreed, “An’ that guy deserves a bouquet for makin’ us realise that.”

Chapter Twenty-one

2008-09-30T22:40:00.006+01:00

“I really hope you can help me,” Tank replied to the voice on the other end of the phone, “I’m tryin’ to get my brother and I on some kinda therapy, and everyone’s tellin’ me to wait about a month… If we could wait that long I wouldn’t be tryin’ to get in now!”

Tank managed to calm himself enough to listen to the receptionist tied to the centre he’d contacted. He’d spotted the number while sifting through the phone book, and although his heart sank in disappointment at noting it was a mere charity-driven, drop-in service run by volunteers, by the time he decided to give them a ring he was at the end of his rope.

“Awesome,” he replied, smiling in his relief, “Thank you so much. See ya in a little while.”

Ripp had once more regressed into the subdued, child-like state he’d succumbed to before, quietly nestling into Johnny’s arms as he voiced random thoughts that ran through his mind. As before, Johnny remained in silence as he listened, holding Ripp close and letting him speak. His head rose at the sound of thundering footsteps on the stairs, his eyes resting on the cause as the muscular form quickly appeared into view.

“Come on you guys,” he ordered, “I found us somewhere.”

“Now?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah, it’s a drop-in place,” Tank explained, “We can go whenever, they just see you when they’re free.”

“Not experts though?”

“Couldn’t get any,” Tank replied with a disheartened look, “I’m past carin’ though, so long as someone’ll talk to us, you know?”

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed, tapping Ripp’s leg as he pulled them to their feet. “Come on babes, let’s go.”

For someone who was usually outspoken and sociable, Buzz was strangely quiet as he collected his lunch. With all he’d discovered recently, he was in no mood to tolerate army-talk from his fellow soldiers, deliberately choosing a table that was some way from the rest of the troops as they dined. It didn’t stop people joining his table though, he noticed dryly as a voice disturbed him from his meal.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Buzz opened his mouth about to tell whoever it was that he’d rather be alone, but on gazing up at the enquiring man he quickly closed it.

Instead he nodded as he returned to his meal, grateful for some understanding company. He knew that also meant a high likelihood of more pressing questions, but he reminded himself of the reason why they’d be asked. It didn’t ease the tightening knot in his stomach, however.

Stephan watched him eat for a moment as he took a seat next to him, before gently beginning their conversation.

“How’re things?” he asked, noting the attire of his superior as he continued, “I gather it didn’t go too well yesterday?”

“Oh, it went very well considering,” Buzz replied, “I only got suspended. I was half-expecting to get discharged.”

“Wow,” Stephan remarked, his eyes widening in surprise at his reply, “That bad, huh?”

Buzz’s head lowered briefly as he began to pick at the contents of his bowl.

“Yeah,” he uttered, “It could’ve gone a lot worse.”

“What happened?”

Buzz gave a knowing sigh as he pondered how best to answer.

“I had a big disagreement at home,” he replied carefully, “One of my kids pushed me too far, and things got out of hand…”

Stephan swallowed a difficult morsel of food as a picture began to take shape in his mind.

“Don’t ever have a family if you stay in the army,” Buzz told him, “You may make a great soldier, but kiss your dreams of fatherhood goodbye ‘cause you’ll only fuck it up.”

“Only if you let it happen,” Stephan replied but, as much as he didn’t mean to, he only served to worsen Buzz’s mood.

“It ain’t just me, that’s the problem,” Buzz explained, “I didn’t even turn out as bad as my dad apparently – army life has been a family tradition. I’m starting to wish it wasn’t; maybe my eldest saw it comin’. Turned out he resented me for trying to keep it going, but he never said anything before…” Buzz let the sadness and regret overwhelm him as he continued to drift, willing the tears to come, yet at the same time knowing the taps behind his eyes had long rusted over.

“Maybe he didn’t dare to,” he mused, giving a weak shrug, “All this time he was playing the part while underneath he was crying… or wished he could. Dad always taught me tears are for the weak...”

Stephan had remained quiet, but couldn’t contain the snort of disapproval at the last remark.

“I dunno where he got that from,” Stephan retorted, “Crying is a natural human reflex, it’s how we flush out our pain. It’s like a poison; it needs getting rid of, keep it inside and it destroys you.”

“I know,” Buzz admitted, “So much for Dad knows best, huh?”

“How many kids do you have?”

“Three,” Buzz replied, “Tank’s the oldest at sixteen, Ripp’s a year younger and Buck’s the youngest at ten.”

“Which one’s the reason you’re in trouble?”

“Ripp,” Buzz responded with a heavy heart, “I got a punchbag upstairs, I usually go to that when it gets too much, but for some reason I didn’t this time. He’s pushed me before, but thinking about it I don’t even know why anymore…”

Stephan studied his body language intently as he spoke, before delivering his verdict on the matter.

“Look, you obviously regret it,” he reassured him, “That’s gotta be a good thing, right?”

“Yeah,” Buzz agreed, wrestling valiantly with the rusted taps as he tried to gain even the slightest momentum in the handles, but still not seeing so much as a droplet of water. “At least I didn’t kill him.”

“Kill?” Stephan echoed, wondering where this statement had come from. “You don’t mean literally, I hope?”

“I know, it sounds crazy,” Buzz concurred, “But according to the chief, that’s just what Dad did once. Who I don’t know…” He trailed off as he clamped down on his tongue. “Sorry, I’m talking too much…”

“Hey, it’s cool,” Stephan smiled, “We’re friends, right? Or, at least, it seems you took me up on the offer,” he hastily added.

Buzz gave a little smile as he nodded.

“Sure,” he found himself accepting, “It’s been a long time since anyone’s wanted to listen, guess I’m just not used to it.”

Stephan smiled reassuringly in reply, laying a hand on his arm, and before he could stop himself he gave it a subtle squeeze. He removed his hand as soon as he realised, hoping that the suspended general hadn’t noticed anything amiss.

It wasn’t Buzz he need have been worried about, but the scrutinising eyes of his fellow soldiers instead.

“Whoa,” one of them remarked, “Did you see that?”

“Sure did,” another replied, “You know what they say; you play with fire, you’re gonna get burnt…”

“Just hope for his sake Grunt didn’t suspect anything,” yet another man mused, “The guy’s gonna pulverise him if he did.”

Much to Stephan’s relief, it was apparent that the clouds of despair and guilt were so thick they stifled the general’s ability to judge or reason. Buzz merely gave a faint smile as he idly gazed at where the younger man’s hand had rested before, again allowing himself to drift.

“You know my biggest regret?” he asked before continuing with his answer, “The way I treated Ripp, when he takes so much after his mom… maybe I just couldn’t handle the compassion they showed, ‘cause I’ve been so used to violence and anger… The way he ‘pushed’ when all he was really trying to do was crack the shell… and what’s the thanks I give him? A broken wrist, a bruised face and a battered soul…”

“Any reason you’re thinking about this now?” Stephan asked, resisting the urge to touch him again. He would mean it only in a friendly, comforting way of course, but he couldn’t trust himself to not give any stronger hints at the affection he was already beginning to feel for the tormented man. That feeling only intensified as Buzz turned to him in delivering his answer.

“You remind me of him,” he uttered with despair in his eyes, “It takes a guy I’ve seen around once or twice for me to wonder how I could be such an ass to my own son…”

“Guess it’s easier to see in strangers,” Stephan suggested, losing the battle with himself as he again laid a hand on his arm. “It’s also human nature to reject the unknown, resist change… yet deep down you know change needs to happen, don’t you?”

Buzz solemnly nodded as he pushed away his empty bowl.

“I know I can’t go on like this,” he added, “Love is something else we all crave, and I need to learn to accept it when it’s offered, in whatever form. Ripp’s a smart kid, but I drove him off the rails because I wouldn’t accept him…”

Stephan took his hand from Buzz’s arm and moved it across his shoulder.

“Did you get put on any kind of programme?” he asked gently, “‘Cause it sounds like you really need it.”

“Yeah, I did,” Buzz replied, “Got my first session later today. In fact I’m already starting to wonder if we’ll have long enough.”

“Well, make the most of what you do have,” Stephan advised him, “And if you need to talk in the meantime, I’ll be happy to listen.”

Buzz looked across at him as lunch ended, and the blond soldier began to rise. He gave a little nod and a weak smile before replying.

“Thanks,” he uttered.

Stephan clutched his hand in a parting gesture, again laying the other hand on his arm and letting his touch linger a little too long. Once more he released his grip as he noticed, hoping that the general wouldn’t as he left.

Buzz watched the young man as he went on his way, gazing warmly after him as he sub-consciously stroked his arm.

“Where do they all come from?” he questioned no one in particular, his mind beginning to wander as he continued his musing silently.

Does someone up there really think I’m worthy of all these chances they keep giving me?

Don’t push your luck Mister. You’ve had two chances already – this is your last one. Whatever you do, for God’s sake don’t blow it, you won’t be so lucky again!

“Are you nuts?” one of the men exclaimed as they trained in the gym, “You’re so lucky to make it back in one piece!”

“What’re you on about?” Stephan quizzed, “We just had lunch together, what’s the big deal?”

“You hit on General Grunt?!” another spluttered, “Do you have a death wish or somethin’?”

Stephan sighed as he eyed the offender coolly.

“He was upset so I put an arm round him, so what?”

“Let your hand linger a little too long for that, didn’t you…?”

“Will you cut it out?” Stephan snapped, “Can’t even eat with the man without being spied on!?”

“Just be careful,” one of the soldiers warned, “If he gets the wrong idea he’ll rip you apart.”

Stephan remained quiet, but inside his thoughts ran wild. There were two ways this could go, he considered; either the general didn’t notice – that seemed the more obvious choice. The other was that he did notice, but wasn’t who he appeared to be.

Tank found the receptionist and explained the phone call he’d placed earlier, while Ripp and Johnny stood a small distance away as they looked about themselves. Johnny eyed the fragile youth with a fond sadness as he ran his fingers through his brown hair. Tank gave his thanks to the lady before joining them, laying a reassuring hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“We got long to wait?” Johnny asked.

“Don’t think so,” Tank replied, “They said some other kids are in at the moment, but that they’ve been in there a good while already.”

Johnny nodded in acknowledgement, and both gazed upon the sullen boy who stood between them.

“It’ll be okay sweetie,” Johnny told him gently, draping a comforting arm across his shoulders. Ripp merely snuggled into his chest as he continued to nibble at his fingernails.

“Jus’ like when we were little all over again,” Tank mused as he watched him, “He used to be like that with Mom, when things started goin’ bad.”

All three pairs of ears pricked up on the sound of movement and opening doors. A glimmer of recognition shone in their faces at noticing the teenage girl who left one room, her manner very unlike the last time they met. In fact, they noticed, the black streaks upon her cheeks hinted that there was more to the girl than the spiteful outer layer she had displayed previously.

Lilith’s eyes darted between the three boys before her, hastily brushing away the stained marks from her face before her gaze rested upon the bundle in Johnny’s arms. He looked so different now, she observed, so... vulnerable.

The other room emptied of its previous occupants, heads instinctively turning at the sound of a door latch. A young man of no more than Tank’s age stepped into the lobby looking just as unhappy, although to one in particular that was the least of his concerns.

Ripp stiffened, swallowing a lump in his throat as his eyes locked onto the flame haired lad before them. As the boy returned his stare, his expression also changed as he began to awkwardly adjust his footing.

Tank and Johnny found themselves looking from one to the other, trying to interpret the body language adopted by the two boys who plainly had met before. Under which circumstances was the obvious question, although it didn’t take long before they realised what had happened between them.

The older boys’ eyes narrowed as they found themselves slowly turning back to Ripp, who had adopted the manner of a frightened animal.

“Um, Ripp?” Johnny began, already sure of the answer but checking anyway. “Is this...?”

The little nod given in reply was all it took to send Tank into a flying rage, snarling like an angered lion as he swiftly swooped upon the red headed youth and roughly grabbed him by the shirt, pinning him against the nearby wall.

“Bastard!!” he roared as he did so.

“Tank!” Johnny cried out, but to no avail. He made instinctive movements in the direction of the scuffle that had unfolded, yet his hand remained pinned to Ripp’s shoulder as he looked back at him; as much as he needed to intervene in the nasty situation with Tank, the sight of his younger lover was enough to anchor him to his side.

“It’s okay,” he whispered as he stroked his head, “He can’t hurt you.”

As Johnny held Ripp close however, he eyed the bickering boys in the distance helplessly as his mind raced.

True, but Tank can hurt him. I just hope someone can step in before he turns this place into a bloodbath. I’d gladly do it myself but I can’t leave Ripp like this...

Chapter Twenty

2008-09-22T01:06:00.005+01:00

Tank sat on the edge of the bed, stripped to his shorts in readiness for sleep, but in no mood to listen to its call as his head spun from all that had happened earlier. There was only one way he’d be able to rest, he deduced as his hand dove underneath his pillow.

“I got an idea,” Johnny remarked, “Go lay down on your front, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Ripp watched with a frown as the alien youth disappeared, giving a little shrug as the only thing left was to comply with his wishes.

“Come on, there’s gotta be some around somewhere.”

Green eyes scanned the bathroom, before hands of the same hue rummaged in a cupboard.

“Ah,” he grinned as he clutched the object of his desire, “Gotcha.”

Ripp’s head jerked suddenly in the direction of the bedside table as a bottle was placed on its surface. He watched as Johnny climbed onto the bed and took a seat on his rear, before a green arm reached for the bottle of baby oil that had been procured earlier. Ripp gave a little shiver as the cool liquid trickled across the sensitive skin on his back, before Johnny’s hands pressed firmly upon him, travelling the length of his spine.

“Just relax,” Johnny murmured softly, continuing to lovingly massage his back as he spoke, “Good for relieving the tension, somethin’ you could really do with right now.”

It took a while for Ripp to grow used to the pressure applied to his taut muscles, but soon his eyes closed as Johnny gradually drove all the pent up feelings from his body. His breathing became shallow as the emotive toxins trickled from his pores, and an unexpected side-effect took hold as, instead of drifting into a relaxed slumber, Ripp suddenly burst into tears.

Johnny allowed a satisfied smile to play upon his lips as he continued to work.

“Dunno why I didn’t think of this before,” he remarked to no one in particular, “Ain’t just physical tension these things are good for.”

“I gotta stop doin’ this,” Tank grumbled as he sleepily rose from the bedclothes. A combination of late night scrawling in a bid to ease his troubled mind, and being a naturally early riser was a bad one.

Peter whistled to himself as he prepared breakfast, more in a bid to lighten his own mood after the darkness that shrouded the oldest members of his household. The youngest however, including the brother of the afflicted in question, sat in blissful ignorance at the table as they awaited their fuel for the day ahead.

“Thanks,” Buck smiled as he picked up his fork, but the smile upon his lips was a weak one. Peter noticed the shadow of the cloud above his head, but knew better than to pick him up on it. After all, watching your father batter one of your brothers can’t do your mood any favours.

His head turned at the sound of movement, and greeted the young man as he approached.

“Morning,” Peter waved, but frowned as he came into view. “Didn’t you sleep well last night?”

“It’s that obvious, huh?” Tank moaned in reply.

“Come on, get some food inside you,” he invited as they sat to their meal, soon wondering why he’d been surprised to see the youth who usually was always so hungry, now slumped over his plate and picked at the food with his fork.

“No sign of the others yet?” Peter asked, hoping to distract him from his thoughts at least a little.

Tank merely shrugged his shoulders as he forced a forkful of pancake into his mouth, slowly chewing on the food as the jaws of his mind worked at an equally deliberate pace.

Peter gave a little nod of acknowledgement as he loaded his fork.

“Give them a little while,” he remarked to no one in particular, “It’s not like they’re in any rush.”

“Johnny too?” Tank checked.

“He wanted to look after him,” came the reply, “And you need to take it easy, young man.”

Tank smiled dryly as he muttered in reply.

“Take it easy?” he quizzed ironically, “What’s that mean?!”

“Come on Tank,” Peter chided, “You’ll go to pieces if you don’t.”

“Bit late for that,” Tank blurted as he rose sharply from the table, but Peter was quick to intervene.

“Sit down,” he commanded, “Finish your meal; you need to keep your strength up.”

Tank sunk reluctantly back down into his chair, glancing at the owner of the blue eyes as they studied him.

“What’s wrong?” Buck asked.

All Tank could do in reply was slump into his free hand, while the other continued to prod at the food on his plate.

“Mornin’ sweetie,” Johnny greeted as he pecked Ripp’s lips, before tracing the puffy red skin under his glassy blue eyes.

“Hey,” came the sullen reply.

“You okay?”

Ripp gave a wry smile as the back of his left hand glided across the pillowcase.

“Guess so,” he mumbled, “Got a bit hard sleeping on a wet pillow, but never mind.”

Johnny smiled sadly as he reached to caress his shoulder. Ripp crawled across the bed to lay a hand upon his chest, his fingers finding the last traces of salty moisture among the young growth of blond hair. He brushed the droplets away with his hand before deciding the green skin was dry enough to rest his head, his eyes closing momentarily both at the touch of Johnny’s hand as it smoothed down his hair, and the sound of the heartbeat playing softly into his ear.

“It’ll be okay,” Johnny reassured him as they laid together, before something occurred to him. “Oh, I got a lesson later on, but he don’t mind you comin’ with.”

Ripp’s eyebrows twitched into a frown as he looked up at him.

“He?” Ripp asked, “Who’s ‘he’?”

“Ever wondered how I could kick your brother’s ass back then?” Johnny reminded him, “Today’s the day you get to find out.”

“Oh, cool!” Ripp exclaimed. The curiosity piqued by the mention of this new person was enough to blow away the clouds of depression, at least for the time being. Despite his current state of mind, Ripp could never resist the chance to meet with new people, especially if they were friends with someone as apart from the crowd as he felt himself to be.

Unaware of the severity of the situation with his student, the alien mentor hummed softly to himself as he approached the kitchen. His mind wandered as he recalled the conversation they’d had the evening before, trying to sweep aside the instinctive niggle in his mind about the prospect of meeting someone different.

“I can read you like a book.”

He looked in the direction of the voice as he made for a cupboard, but was far from surprised on spotting the source.

“Meaning?” the man challenged the battered form before him.

“You said only last night this person knows him, didn’t you? Yet you still don’t trust him.”

The unblemished figure placed the ingredients on his counter a little too sharply as he gave a conceding sigh.

“Do you blame me?” came the reply.

“Johnny’s green and the boy still mixes with him, doesn’t that mean anything?”

“I am trying,” the robed man uttered, his black eyes misting over as a hand idly travelled to his belly. “It’s too late for you to fear, you’re already dead.”

The alien ghost eyed the man with an arched eyebrow and crossed arms as he watched him prepare his breakfast.

“True,” came the reply, “On the other side of the coin, I have a clearer view of all that happens.”

The living being cocked his head briefly in acknowledgement of his remark, before their conversation was abruptly cut short. An agonised cry escaped his throat as his hand clutched his lower abdomen, green fingers gripping the edge of the counter as he hunched over with a vice-like pain taking hold of his stomach.

“Oh dear,” the ghost observed, rummaging through a cupboard while grateful that moving objects wasn’t necessarily a physical task. Tablets and a glass half filled with water were placed on the counter by the food, as the spirit gazed upon the stricken man.

“Get those inside you,” he told him before moving off, “Hope you’re not running low.”

The person remaining in the kitchen guzzled greedily at the water as he washed down the tablets, before making painstaking movements across to the bathroom. He smiled to himself as he noticed everything needed was already resting by the basin.

“Ah, bless your soul,” he mused sadly as he closed the door, “No longer alive, but that doesn’t stop you looking after your brother, eh?”

Tank had heaved an inward sigh of relief when the children left for school, and with Peter occupied elsewhere, it left him free to do the only thing he could think of to distract himself. His tears once more frozen inside, he began to scrub at surfaces that may not have even needed attention, but in his current state of mind he was in no position to care.

The aged alien noticed him work as he came back inside, having delivered his message about the absent teenagers to the driver of the bus that would normally be taking them to school. When the sixteen year old started dusting at the banister, Peter decided it was time to step in.

“Tank,” he began, “I appreciate the help, but it’s really not necessary.”

Tank gave a meek shrug, continuing to polish the wood. Peter approached and laid a halting hand on the young arm.

“If you really want to occupy yourself,” Peter suggested, “Why don’t you do what you were doing at the Specter house yesterday, and find out about getting some help for yourselves?”

The pair of blue eyes gazed at him as the owner caved in, passing the duster to Peter’s outstretched hand before slinking up the stairs to retrieve his notes.

“They’re getting worse, I swear. It’s reaching the point where I don’t want to fall asleep, because I just know I’ll get one of those damn nightmares again. Not that I even have to sleep to get some kind of reminder that something happened, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was. All I’m getting are pieces of the puzzle; that scar on my chest – back when I was moving up the ranks, other men would say it looked like an old knife wound. Then that talk with the chief about recurring flashbacks, finding out my father had killed someone. I would say one thing had nothing to do with another, but I was supposed to have tried to report what happened, and I can’t remember anything about that either. In fact, now I consider it, about Tank’s eyes when he tried to get me off Ripp that evening… they didn’t look angry, just familiar…”

Buzz trailed off as his mind drifted back in time, to a hospital room and a baby in a bassinet.

“I can’t believe you called him Tank,” Lyla giggled, “Poor kid’s gonna have such a hard time at school…!”

“What’s wrong with being named after a sturdy fighting vehicle?”

“He might be a softy like his mom!” she replied.

Buzz gave a little chuckle as he gazed down at the tanned infant in his temporary cot.

“He’s even got my eyes, I think…” she remarked, but trailed off as she started to question the integrity of her statement.

“I don’t think so,” Buzz corrected, finding himself wondering just where the little boy had inherited the features from. The shape of his eyes bore no resemblance to either parent. Someone else peered up at him, and Buzz studied the baby’s face with mixed feelings as he began to recognise the original owner of those particular qualities.

“How’d you get your granddad’s eyes, huh?” he asked gently, forcing a smile as he stroked his son’s foot.

“Dad??” he exclaimed, the diary and pen roughly tossed aside as he sprung to his feet. His hand gripped the area of his scar as a phrase resounded through his mind, adding strength to his suspicions.

“Sorry son, but it’s for your own good.”

Buzz began to pace the room anxiously as he voiced the thoughts now racing through his head.

“My god…” he uttered, “My father tried to kill me? Why??”

“Whose blood was on that knife… was it mine, or the last poor guy he’d supposedly killed… Maybe both? Is that why, because I’d seen him do it? Come to think of it, what was he doing with the knife in the first place? I mean, I know he’d have his moments, and there were plenty thanks to that damn vice of his, but even when drunk he wouldn’t go that far, would he?”

Stephan coolly eyed his fellow soldiers as they cleaned up for the day ahead, and bit the bullet as he stepped onto the concrete floor. A relieved smile played upon his lips as he recognised one of the faces to be friendly, hoping that it would be enough to get him through one of his least favourite times of the day as he found a spare shower.

He gave an involuntary shudder as the icy water cascaded down his body, delivering a sobering slap to the face that would refresh him more readily than the strongest blend of coffee. A voice next to him gave a reminder of the real reason he detested showers, and it was nothing to do with the action itself.

“Hey Mitch, can I ask you somethin’?”

Stephan gave a little snort as he lathered up his hands and applied them to his body.

“You’re going to anyways,” came the response.

“What do you see in him?”

“Ah, that one again,” he acknowledged, not once looking across at the man querying him.

“It’s a fair enough question,” another one asked, “Of all the guys you could dream of, you pick a high ranking officer who could double as a walkin’ time-bomb.”

“He’s a good man,” Stephan defended as he continued to scrub.

“He’s a jerk!”

The friendly face spotted earlier, belonging to Matthew Picaso, gave a snigger as he chipped in.

“Of course he is, he’s a general!” he teased, “Generals are paid to be assholes.”

Stephan giggled quietly at his remark.

“Didn’t he get suspended?” one of them challenged.

“Yeah, wonder what that was for,” another agreed, “Startin’ one fight too many, maybe?”

Stephan shook his head at the gossip filtering through the air.

“Give the guy a break,” he justified, “He’s got problems; he needs someone to lean on, not point a finger.”

“Pssh,” one retorted, “That mushy streak of yours’ll get you in trouble one of these days.”

“Yeah, what’s gonna happen when he finds out you suck cock?” another tested.

Stephan rolled his eyes at the derogatory comment, wondering whether or not to bother acknowledging it.

“Will you leave the guy alone?” Matthew decided for him, “So what if he prefers guys? It’s not even like he’s tried it on any of us, is it?”

“No, he’s got his eyes on that general instead.”

Stephan sighed in exasperation as he shut off the shower, and finally turned to the men delivering such pre-empted verdicts.

“Did I ever say that? Huh?!”

“Come on,” came the reply, “You’re always talkin’ about him!”

“So fuckin’ what?!” Stephan retaliated, “I’m gay, I show concern for another man, therefore I’m holding a torch for him. You guys are pathetic!”

“It’s kinda obvious,” came the observation, “All these nicer guys on camp, and you never talk of any of them the way you do with this one.”

“None of the others look so unhappy…”

“Would you be as worried about anyone else if they did?”

“Oh, he would,” Matthew answered as he left his own shower, “Guy’s got a sympathetic streak a mile wide.”

Stephan smiled sadly as a twinge of melancholy tugged at his heart.

“Wish it was,” he corrected.

“Oh yeah,” Matthew acknowledged, “Beg your pardon, empathetic streak.”

“Better,” Stephan nodded as he left the showers, making for the bench housing the pile of clothes waiting for him.

“You okay?” Matthew asked as he sat down.

“Yeah, just pissed off,” Stephan admitted, “It’s got so I can’t stand showers, we go through this every morning lately.”

“It’s none of their business,” Matthew told him, “You know what rumours are like.”

“Pff, yeah,” Stephan agreed sourly, “All it took was my showing concern, and now they keep implying I wanna get with him. If I was straight it wouldn’t be a problem.”

Matthew glanced around the room to eliminate any chance of being overheard, before leaning in closer and speaking with a hushed voice.

“So what’s the real story?” he asked the blond soldier, “Is it only friends you wanna be with this guy, or are you hopin’ for something more?”

Stephan gave a shrug as he began to dress.

“Too early to say,” came the evasive reply, “Although I do seem to be drawn to the emotionally unstable.”

Chapter Nineteen

2008-09-03T23:42:00.007+01:00

Two pairs of blue eyes rested upon the domestic cemetery, as they struggled to digest another negative emotion running through their beings. Ophelia gently coaxed Tank out of his spell and led the boys inside, suggesting they sit down for a moment beforehand to gather their thoughts – a proposition Tank was only too happy to accept as he eyed his younger brother. He had questions and now was more determined than ever to get answers.

“Okay,” he began once they were all resting, “Let’s take it from the top, shall we?”

Ripp’s stomach tied into knots as he gingerly eyed his older brother, bracing himself for another grilling. The other two, with no idea of the events at school, could only watch the exchange unfold for now.

“You caught somethin’ off one of those guys, didn’t you,” Tank guessed, continuing seamlessly from where he’d been interrupted by Dustin’s presence before.

Ripp’s head dropped as he gazed at the hard floor, his grip tightening on the green hand that held his own. Ophelia remained clueless, but Johnny’s attention was captured immediately.

“You mean to tell me you didn’t use protection?!” Tank exclaimed, but Johnny was quick to intervene.

“Whoa, whoa,” he protested, “This ain’t what you think…”

“I always used protection!” Ripp protested bitterly, no longer hiding the distress felt as he began to relive his ordeal.

“So, what, it split?” Tank pressed.

“He didn’t put it on,” Ripp conceded, tears streaming down his cheeks as he gazed at his now concerned brother.

Johnny fixed the tanned youth with a deliberate stare as Ripp succumbed to the flow of tears.

“The bastard raped him,” Johnny explained as he cradled the traumatised boy in his arms. “Let ‘im think it was just rough sex, but if your partner’s beggin’ you to stop…”

“Alright, alright,” Tank interrupted, cradling his head in his hand. “Shit…” He looked back at the green boy as the focus of his questions changed. “How long have you known?”

“Only since last night,” came the reply, “He’d been kiddin’ himself for ages that it wasn’t rape.”

“But he’d told him to stop?” Tank checked.

“Ripp said he was beggin’ and screamin’ for him to stop,” Johnny spat venomously, “The poor guy was in agony; you’re meant to use a lubricant first, I nearly found that out the hard way.”

Tank’s head lowered as the flames of anger continued to heat his blood, raising it to boiling point as he recalled the time Ripp had arrived home one day – presumably the day it had happened, given the state he was in. Looking back at the weeping wreck his brother had become, his fist clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white.

“If I ever get hold of that son-of-a-bitch,” Tank promised, “I’m gonna break his fuckin’ neck.”

Johnny eyed the livid youth with a meaningful stare, a bitter smirk playing upon his lips.

“Get in line,” he told him simply.

Ophelia led the grim procession through her aunt’s garden as she took them to Lyla’s resting place, hooking an arm round Tank’s waist in an offer of support as she slowly gestured to the tombstone. Tank’s eyes scanned the engraved text a multitude of times, slowly shaking his head as the hard proof of their mother’s demise was laid before them. Ripp, already in a fragile emotional state, needed only to read the text once for the recurring memories of his fed dreams to haunt his tormented soul, pushing him once more into a sobbing bundle cradled in gentle green arms. Tank meanwhile felt his blood rapidly cool as his legs buckled, bringing him to his knees as all trace of emotion drained from his being.

“I’m sorry Mom,” he uttered, “For how things turned out, for what happened…” His fingers reached out to trace the etchings on the tombstone, willing the tears to trickle forth. For some reason however they refused to comply, the taps behind his eyes jammed into the off position as he studied the text. “We’ve both been jerks I know, we treated you an’ Ripp so bad… you seem to know I’ve changed since, I can only be grateful you found a way to do that… I just wish I could remember you before you left, without a face lookin’ like Dad had just worked you over like he did Ripp…”

Finally the tears began to flow as he let the last of his regrets pour forth from his tortured being.

“I’m sorry Mom,” he whimpered between sobs, “I’m so sorry, please forgive me!”

Ophelia was rooted to the spot by the sight, watching him collapse into a hysterical weeping heap with a tear trickling down her cheek. Her own feelings of grief still so raw, she hastily left them to race back into the house where she could surrender to her sorrow in peace.

Ripp’s tears had dried, leaving him as his brother had been; cold, numbed by the finality of it all, and with his own regrets to purge from his burdened being. He eyed the stone with a heart of ice as he began to recount his failings.

“I fucked up bad, I know,” he murmured, allowing the humiliation to sweep through him with its unforgiving blaze, “You saw some of it too, those moments I wouldn’t wish any parent to see their kids in. I’m just grateful you didn’t see what happened with Luke, that would have cut you bad… I know I was reckless, went out getting myself in situations I might never have come back from… you’d have blown a gasket if you knew, Tank sure as hell did… he’s been a good guy though, just how we remember him; playing the dad while our own’s outta the picture… with everything I’ve been up to though, I wouldn’t want his job.”

Johnny eyed his lover with concern as he continued to speak.

“I’m sorry too,” Ripp added, the chasm of self-hatred consuming his being, “Sorry for being such a failure…”

Johnny’s head slowly shook in disbelief as he stroked his head. He had stayed quiet for long enough.

“Hey,” he scolded softly, “Don’t talk like that; you’re not a failure…”

“I am!” Ripp protested, “I’ve ruined everything, I’ve wrecked our family…!”

Tank was pulled from his own memoirs at the raised voices, gazing upwards as Johnny tried valiantly to console the younger boy.

“You haven’t wrecked anythin’,” Johnny told him, “It’s your dad with problems, not…”

“Yeah, right,” Ripp spat, “I go out fuckin’ guys like they’re going outta fashion, get my ass torn open an’ catch Clap from one of ‘em…” He looked back at Johnny, his mind in mayhem as he watched his efforts to soothe his fears. “What the hell do you see in me?! How can you want me? I’m just a waste of space…!”

“Hey, that’s enough Ripp!” Johnny countered sharply, struggling to swallow the sobs working their way up his throat as he felt his heart crumble. “You’re not a waste, you’re an amazin’ guy and I love you, Ripp! You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me an’ I’m not gonna let you put yourself down like this, okay? Please, stop talkin’ like this…”

Tank witnessed the scene in shock, his head slowly shaking as he wondered whether or not to aid Johnny in what seemed to be a losing battle. Deciding that they were better left alone, he ventured inside to find Ophelia, who was sitting quietly on the couch.

“You okay?” he asked softly, sitting by her.

She nodded in reply, looking back to her toned lover.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” she said, “Jus’ reminded me of my own parents.”

“Hey, it’s cool,” Tank smiled weakly as he draped an arm round her. “I’m sorry.”

She nestled into his chest for a moment, allowing the sound of his heartbeat to soothe her troubles. She pulled away after a while, sensing something amiss but not quite sure what.

“Everythin’ okay?” she checked, “They still out there?”

Tank’s head lowered in despair as his free hand nursed his brow.

“Ripp’s a mess,” he confessed, “I don’t mean how you saw him a couple o’ days ago; I mean a real, big mess! I’ve never seen him in such a state all the time I’ve lived with him!”

“Why, what’s he sayin’?”

“He’s sayin’ how he’s messed up, that he’s a waste of space and even asking Johnny what he sees in him…” Tank recited, “Put it this way, I’m startin’ to wonder if I should keep an eye on him, make sure he don’t try anythin’ stupid…”

“Like what?” she asked, quickly growing alarmed, “You don’t think he’s gonna…?” She completed the sentence by flicking a finger across the underside of her wrist.

Tank gave a helpless shrug as he slumped into the backrest.

“I dunno anymore,” he replied, “How much more can I put past the guy? He nearly got himself killed I dunno how many times, an’ that was while I was still bein’ an asshole. Then I find out he’s been raped, which is probably what pushed him to cigarettes, an’ now this. What’s this gonna push him to, Philly? I’m really getting scared for him…”

“Look,” Ophelia offered, “Neither of you are thinking straight right now. I said once before, you can’t expect to act the responsible dad when you’ve got your own problems, and that was before I knew about your mom. Get some help for the pair o’ ya, you need it yesterday! Chase up the guys at the army, they look after military families don’t they?”

The clouds of despair parted, wafted away by the strong winds of Tank’s practical nature as he quickly agreed. Anything to help this ugly situation, he decided as he reached for his mobile. He’d already lost his mother, and for now his father too, he wasn’t about to lose one of his brothers on top of everything else.

Johnny clung desperately to his fallen lover, as if to save him from tumbling any further into the bottomless chasm of desolation, but at the same time allowed the tears to trickle from his green eyes as he stroked his brown hair. He wanted so badly to burst into tears himself, the devastating emotions gushing forth from Ripp and touching Johnny’s heart with their deadly fingers, as if to give him a taste of the worthlessness and despair the younger man was suffering in such a dark time. Another feeling took over however, that of helplessness. Johnny wanted desperately to be able to kiss away these terrible thoughts invading Ripp’s mind, to heal his scars with a click of his fingers… anything other than to just stand by and watch as Ripp’s torments ate away at his heart. Not being able to help at all, not even through the kindest words or the tenderest touch, was the most painful form of torture the alien boy had ever endured.
Johnny quickly brushed the tears away as he felt movement from his boyfriend. Ripp’s face was saturated with tears, which Johnny reached to wipe away as he gazed sadly at him.

“Feelin’ any better?” Johnny asked.

“I guess,” Ripp shrugged in reply.

“Come on,” Johnny offered, “Let’s get home, eh?”

Ripp quietly nodded, grateful that Johnny was indeed still with him – how he needed his touch right now.

The couple walked the reasonable distance back along Road to Nowhere with their arms hooked loosely round each other’s sides. Ripp tucked himself snugly under Johnny’s arm as he began to ramble, voicing the random thoughts racing through his mind, and Johnny drank in what was being said in the hope that he would gain further insight into his troubled mind. As Johnny’s house came into view, he stopped them both as he turned to face him, taking Ripp into his arms as he lightly kissed his head.

“Listen sweetie,” Johnny told him, “I know right now you don’t believe much I’m sayin’, but I’m here for you, okay? I’ll always be here for you, I promise.”

Ripp allowed a glimmer of a smile to take hold of his mouth, his eyes closing as he felt Johnny’s lips press against his forehead.

“Kiss me,” Ripp urged, peering pleadingly into the blond boy’s green eyes.

Johnny smiled, stroking Ripp’s face before planting a tender kiss on his lips.

Ripp clung to Johnny as their mouths caressed each other, before a female voice interrupted their loving encounter.

“Hey guys,” Jenny greeted them, “I’ve been worried about you!”

“I did call to say where we were goin’,” Johnny reminded her.

“I know,” she said, “But it’s been so long…!”

“Sorry Mom,” Johnny apologised softly.

Jenny frowned at her son’s change in manner, and looked across at Ripp.

“You okay?” she asked with concern, “I saw you guys from the garden…”

Ripp’s already sore eyes stung once more as his head lowered. Johnny meanwhile looked dangerously close to blowing his cover of strength, revealing the vulnerable lower layer that struggled to be freed from its prison. It needed to be released of course, but not in front of his broken partner.

Sensing this, Jenny hooked an arm round Ripp’s shoulder and led him towards the garden, the odour of charcoal and grilled meat wafting through the air. It did little to tantalise Ripp’s appetite however, even when a burger was placed into his hands.

“Hey Johnny,” Peter greeted, his smile quickly fading on noticing his son’s tear-dampened face. Taking the food off the grill for now, he moved towards him as he spotted Jenny, who was fussing over Ripp as he struggled to eat. His attention was jolted back to Johnny at the sound of choked sobs escaping from his throat, and without another word took his son into his arms, inviting him to release the emotion he’d stored inside during the day. Johnny was only too grateful for the chance to do so, weeping into his father’s arms as he clung tightly to him.

“It’s okay,” he soothed as he stroked his scalp, holding him close. “What happened?”

It seemed to take an age before he was granted a response. As the last of the pain was flushed from Johnny’s system, he took a moment to regain some strength before replying.

“It’s Ripp,” he replied, speaking in his father’s language as he explained all that had happened before.

“Oh heavens,” Peter remarked, his eyes flickering across to the youth in the recliner.

“It hurt so much, hearing him talk like that,” Johnny continued, “Nothing I said made any difference, I feel so damn helpless…”

“Sadly, there isn’t much any of us can do,” Jenny piped up as she approached, also conversing in her husbands’ mother tongue. “If I was as far up as doctor, I’d diagnose severe depression. Perhaps even the start of a breakdown.”

“Oh hell,” Johnny moaned in despair, before gazing with pleading eyes at his mother. “Isn’t there anything anyone can do?”

“Just be there for him,” she advised, “Remind him you love him, look after him, even mother him if you have to. Just be aware that in this state of mind, no positive messages will get through to him, although of course there’s no harm in trying. Whatever negative feelings he’s usually had to deal with, they’ll be amplified so he’ll need a lot of support to deal with them.”

Johnny nodded sullenly as he took on board her advice, gazing with a loving sadness at the topic of their discussion.

“Why does it feel like it’s happening to me?” he uttered, fresh tears pricking at his eyes, “I got no reason to feel dejected, do I?”

“It’s because you’re in love,” Peter told him as he laid a hand on his shoulder, “This is part of what true love is all about, the most painful part in fact. There’s a reason marriage vows include ‘for better, for worse’.”

Johnny briefly lowered his head, before a random practical thought yanked him back to reality. Tomorrow was Tuesday, and for Johnny that meant lesson day.

“‘Scuse me a sec,” Johnny said, moving off, “I need to make a call.”

“Come on babes,” Ophelia coaxed as she nursed her boyfriend’s shoulders, “They’re all closin’ down for the day. Why don’tcha get yourself some rest, huh?”

Tank sighed irritably as he flung the pen aside, studying the scrawled figures upon the paper.

“Yeah,” he conceded, yielding to an impressive yawn as his eyes briefly closed. “Man… early night for me tonight.”

“Too right,” she agreed, accompanying him to the door. They lingered just outside in each other’s arms, savouring the warmth shared between them as Tank fought against the fatigue now rearing its ugly head.

“Thanks for everything,” he told her, gently kissing her cheek.

“No problem,” she smiled in reply, “Just remember to take it easy, huh? You’ve been through a hell of a lot these past few days.”

“Tell me about it,” he moaned, before pulling back enough to peer into her green eyes. A fond smile crept upon his face as he pulled her close, caressing her cheek as he placed a lingering goodbye kiss on her lips. The heat spread throughout his being as their lips brushed together, clutching her tightly as though she was about to slip from his grasp forever.

Reluctantly they parted, and Tank made for his new home at the Smith residence. It wasn’t long before the smell of barbecued meat drifted through the air, prompting a longing moan from the youth as his seemingly bottomless stomach reminded him it was overdue for a top-up. The aroma of food reached out to take his hand and lead him through to the garden, where Johnny was now sitting with his younger brother and chewing on a mouthful of burger.

“Here’s the other one,” Peter announced, returning to the grill and tending the meat with one hand, while simultaneously eating his own meal with the other.

“You okay?” Jenny asked as he worked.

“Tired,” Tank complained, emphasising his point with a yawn, “Hungry and generally feelin’ drained…”

“What’ve you been up to?” Peter asked, passing him a burger.

“Tryin’ to get us some help,” came the reply, “Especially that guy,” he finished, thumbing behind him at the troubled young man sitting with Johnny.

“You know what,” Peter remarked, “After all that’s happened, I think you guys would do better to take a break from school. It’s only a few more days until you break up, is it really worth it?”
Tank smiled a little as he considered his suggestion.

“You know what,” Tank replied, “I think the extra time off will be just the ticket.”

“Look sweetie,” Johnny began as he swept a stray lock of hair from Ripp’s face, “I’m gonna stay with you, okay? I’ll take the time off school…”

“Don’t skip lessons on my account,” Ripp chipped in, “You go, I’ll be fine.”

Johnny gazed sadly at his partner as he shook his head.

“Don’t make any odds to me,” he told him, “I wouldn’t be able to focus on lessons if I went.” He frowned as Ripp pulled away from him, staring at him with dismay in his eyes.

“I’m even hurting you, aren’t I?” he assumed, “All I’m ever good for is…”

Johnny silenced him as he advanced, pressing his fingers against his lips.

“You’re not hurting me,” Johnny told him, “It’s your pain that’s hurting, I’m feeling it as much as you are.”

“I don’t get it,” Ripp admitted, his head shaking from side to side as he spoke.

“It’s because I love you,” Johnny explained, “I couldn’t concentrate on lessons because I’d be worried about you. I want to help, Ripp, that’s all I swear.” He felt himself become choked with emotion as he spoke, but fought against it enough to continue. “I won’t leave you, I promise – I don’t want to leave you, I want to be here for you…”

Ripp’s eyes clouded over, as just enough of Johnny’s message filtered through to provide the helping hand he so dearly needed.

“Stay with me Johnny,” he pleaded, “Don’t leave me…”

Johnny took Ripp into his arms, strengthening his vows as he held him close.

“I won’t leave you,” he muttered into Ripp’s ear, “I’ll always be here for you, I promise. We’ll get through this somehow, no matter how long it takes.”

Chapter Eighteen

2008-08-28T03:11:00.004+01:00

Ironic really, Buzz mused as he leafed through the waiting papers; the higher you climb up the career ladder, the less hands-on your work becomes. Sure, there were the inspections now and then, but most of the field work on a normal day was left to the sergeants.

A knock at the door stilled his wandering mind as he granted entry to his unseen visitor. A blond, well built solider walked into the office and gave a greeting salute.

“At ease,” Buzz replied, “What is it, Private?”

“Sir,” the man acknowledged, “Chief wants to see you, Sir.”

Buzz’s mood dropped through the floor at this news. His heart skipped a good few beats as he gave a sullen nod and rose from his chair, preparing himself for the worst.

The soldier frowned at his change in demeanour, wondering whether to pick him up on his manner or keep quiet. Licking his lips uncomfortably, he opted to sweep their titles aside as he spoke.

“Permission to speak freely, Sir,” he began.

Buzz quickly buried his misgivings as he granted what was asked of him.

“Everything alright?”

Buzz’s brow twitched in bemusement, taken aback at his concern. His suppressed feelings fought for freedom, and were showing signs of victory as Buzz briefly eyed the carpet.

“Yeah,” he dismissed, “It’s fine. Thanks for asking though.”

The soldier crossed his arms as he fixed him with a knowing stare.
“I’m not blind, Sir,” he remarked, causing Buzz to sharply return his gaze. “Something’s wrong, it’s in your eyes…”

Buzz gave a disheartened sigh as he awkwardly rubbed at the nape of his neck. Had this been any other time he would have been quick to reprimand the man on staying out of his affairs, but today was different. The weekend just gone had been a troubling one, and Johnny had given him enough food for thought to keep him chewing for days, maybe even weeks. Work could only keep him occupied for so long, and now he was faced once more with something he was still not used to; someone who truly cared about him. His ex-wife and son he'd thought he could deal with. Someone he’d only seen around once in a while was a different story, and he was caught off-guard.

“It’s personal stuff,” Buzz told him warily, “Can’t say any more than that.”

“Understood, Sir,” came the reply, but the blond man looked as though he had more to say.

“What is it?” Buzz tested.

“You are permitted friends in the army,” he hinted, a little smile playing upon his lips as he swept away the last of the formalities. “That is, if you want one…”

Buzz’s eyebrows twitched in surprise, slowly approaching the young man as he pondered how best to react.

“Is that an offer?” he checked slowly.

“Sure,” the man confirmed, his smile growing a little wider, “You don’t get that often, do you?”
Buzz allowed himself a sad smile as he studied his features a little. “It’s that obvious, huh?” he relented.

“‘Fraid so,” came the almost playful reply.

Buzz slowly nodded in acknowledgement, finding himself warming to the younger soldier.

“Thanks,” he told him, but still guarded as he continued. “I’ll think about it.”

“Stephan Mitchell,” he introduced, offering a hand.

Smiling, Buzz accepted and returned with his own name, before excusing himself to the summons Stephan had been sent to deliver.

Buzz tugged awkwardly at his blazer as the voice within granted him access. He gave the faintest of smiles as he entered, along with a dutiful salute before the chief invited him to take a seat.

The chief studied Buzz intently as the general sat opposite him, before sitting back in his seat, ready to begin their meeting. He could have chosen anywhere to base himself since becoming Chief of Army Staff, but after hearing another Grunt had been appointed as General, he decided to remain at Nevada. Someone with a family history as messy as the man sitting before him needed monitoring, he reminded himself.

It was Buzz who broke the silence as he felt an explanation was in order.

“Sorry I’m late, Sir,” Buzz apologised, “Got caught up in a little talk with Private Mitchell.”

“Ah,” the chief nodded, “Yes, there was a reason I chose him to get you.”

Buzz frowned at this remark.

“There was?”

“Very perceptive young man,” the chief mused, “Seems to pick up on troubled minds very easily. He’s been asking about you a few times, like he can sense something’s up with you.”

“Really?” Buzz queried, genuinely surprised.

He began to contemplate their last conversation, comparing notes before he could stop himself as he smiled sadly.

“Lyla and Ripp are a bit like that…”

“Ah yes, Ripp,” the chief hinted as he steered the meeting back on track, testing Buzz’s reaction as he did so.

Buzz glanced at his superior, his heart sinking as his gaze lowered.

“You know what this is about, I presume.”

Buzz merely nodded in reply, bracing himself for whatever was to follow.

“Very well, I’ll get to the point,” the chief acknowledged, “The hospital reported the whole sorry affair; how the boy had suffered extensive bruising and how he’d fallen awkwardly onto his right arm, fracturing his wrist. The latter you probably didn’t mean to happen…”

Buzz shook his head slowly to confirm the last statement.

“I also gather you struck your oldest.”

“That was an accident,” Buzz quickly stated.

The chief frowned at this but let him speak, watching as he seemed to slip into a reverie. It got stranger when the general’s left hand travelled absent-mindedly to his breastbone.

“I felt a grip on my arm, but when I turned it wasn’t Tank I saw… Well, it might have been, but he was holding a knife. There was blood on the blade, probably mine, and I was bleeding…”

The chief crossed his arms as he listened with interest. Sensing an opportunity to speak, he was quick to do so.

“Sounds like you need help, and soon,” he observed, coming to a decision as Buzz drifted back to earth. “I’m going to put you on a course of therapy,” he stated, “And in the meantime you’ll be staying here, away from your children and anyone else you may be a threat to.”

Buzz smiled wryly at the last statement, instantly thinking back to his scuffles with the Curious brothers, the scientist uncles Johnny had mentioned the day before. There was one concern playing on his mind, however.

“Will I be discharged?” he tested hesitantly.

“Suspended from duty,” the chief replied, “If you were anything like your father I’d have discharged you without a second thought, but I can see it’s more complicated than that.”

Buzz cocked his head at his last statement, truly puzzled.

“Anything like…?” Buzz echoed, “I put one of my sons in hospital, and you’re telling me I’m not like him??”

“Well, let’s see,” came the dry reply, “You don’t drink, you assaulted your sons only once, and you sure as hell didn’t kill anyone.”

Buzz stared at the chief aghast, stunned beyond words as he struggled to come to grips with this revelation.

“You don’t remember?” the man checked, “It was you who called the police.”

“Me?” Buzz repeated, scratching the base of his head as he fumbled blindly in the darkness of his mind, desperately trying to piece together the puzzle.

“Oh dear,” the chief remarked gravely, “You really are in trouble.”

Buzz swallowed a lump in his throat, reciting thoughts drifting through his mind before about the incident with the sixteen year old boy.

“Something in Tank’s eyes that reminded me about a knife,” he uttered, “Why…?”

“I think,” the chief offered, “The number one priority will be helping you find that out.”

On the way out of the classroom, Ripp became distracted as Dustin signalled discreetly to him. The blond youth gestured subtly with his right hand, tapping a pocket in his jeans, and Ripp nodded gently in reply. Unbeknown to him however, the two boys were being watched.

“‘Old on a minute,” Tank challenged, not disguising the disapproval in his voice.

“Outside,” Ripp ordered, pulling him toward the door.

“So it was him who got you on the cancer sticks?!” Tank snarled.

“I said don’t lecture me about it,” Ripp harshly reminded him.

Tank threw up his hands in exasperation, unable to hold his tongue any longer.

“Don’t lecture…!?” he started, “You expect me to sit back an’ watch my kid brother puffin’ his lungs away?!”

“Keep it down!” Ripp hissed urgently.

“Oh yeah, sure,” Tank replied bitterly, “’Cause you ain’t even old enough to buy ‘em, that’s right.”

“Cut it out, Tank!” Ripp bit in a hushed tone, “I already told you, I couldn’t cope anymore…”

“Was this before or after your sexual escapades?” Tank challenged, remembering all too well how he’d already tried to handle his situation at home.

“After,” Ripp replied, “Quite a while after.”

“After those antibiotics you were takin’?”

“Yeah,” came the evasive answer as Ripp shuffled on his feet. His eyes began to sting with the onset of tears at the reminder of all he’d endured and, despite not wishing to disclose any further details, he resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to drop yet another bombshell on his already burdened brother.

“To stop your ass itchin’,” Tank pondered, “What was that anyways, some kinda bug?”

“Yes,” came the abrupt reply as Ripp walked off, leaving Tank to chew on a combination of answers given and past knowledge. He began to connect the dots, but didn’t like the picture they were forming.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Tank called out as he chased after him.

Ripp hastily wiped away a stray tear before looking back at him.

“Not now, huh?” Ripp hinted, gesturing over Tank’s shoulder. The older boy turned to find Dustin watching them.

“Bad timing?” the blond youth checked.

“No, it’s cool,” Ripp told him, “I need one now more than ever.”

“So when did you start?” Tank asked as Dustin lit his cigarette.

“A while ago,” came the vague reply, “Like your brother, I needed a coping mechanism.”

Tank raised a disapproving eyebrow at the apparent weakness displayed by the pair of them.

“And fuckin’ up your lungs helps you cope?”

“Cool it Tank,” Ripp chastised, “You were only too happy to mess up your knuckles on that piece of canvas.”

“The punchbag ain’t addictive.”

“Pfff!” Ripp spat, “Could’ve fooled me! I had to drag you off it, remember?”

“That’s by the by,” Tank defended, “I ain’t gonna risk lung cancer by it.”

“Whatever,” came the dismissive reply.

“Look buddy,” Dustin chipped in, “I appreciate your concern, but when your life gets fucked up enough you might understand us better.”

“It already is, thanks,” Tank told him, “Whoever said the ‘golden boy’ comes up smellin’ of roses was lyin’. That father of ours made a fuckin’ prisoner of me for years.”

Dustin raised an eyebrow as he glanced between the brothers, his blue eyes resting on Ripp’s blemished features.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” he guessed, indicating the plaster cast.

Ripp studied the toilet bowl as he inhaled another lungful of tobacco smoke, flicking some ash into the pan as he let the smoke trickle from his nostrils.

“Jerk,” Dustin growled, “Fuckers take their family for granted, treat ‘em like shit… an’ then you got guys like my dad, great guys who never get a chance to watch their kids grow up.”

Tank’s brow twitched in puzzlement, before looking to his brother for an explanation.

“His dad died when he was little,” Ripp clarified, “Left his mom with two kids and one on the way.”

“Wow,” Tank breathed, before addressing the blond youth, “I’m sorry.”

Dustin gave a little nod as he drew from his cigarette, to signify that his words had been heard, but remained quiet. Tank was left with more brain food to chew on than when he’d confronted Ripp about his smoking habit.

Buzz tossed the last of the heavy luggage to the floor, gazing about the empty house with a heavy heart. His eyes rested on the spot where Ripp had fallen, and for a moment a familiar image returned to haunt his vision; of the boy crumpled to the ground, a crimson waterfall flowing from his fallen body and forming a pool that spread across the wooden floor. The general’s eyes screwed shut in an attempt to banish the picture from his mind, and expelled a little sigh of relief on finding it had worked. Patting the case that contained his diary, he went on to conduct one last search through the house for any remnants of the family that had gradually abandoned him. A hunch pulled him to Tank’s room, where he rummaged briefly through the boy’s drawers and gathered up more scraps of paper from within, storing them inside a magazine he’d also found there. Something about science, he noted with a smile. So much for being an army boy, he mused once again, his heart plainly wasn’t in it.

A finger trailed along the banister as he descended the stairs, clutching the magazine along with photos that he had collected along the way, and stored them into a lighter case before taking a last look around the building he’d once called home.

“Everything ready, Sir?”

Buzz glanced at the waiting solider, before giving a slow nod. Sighing to himself he reluctantly left, taking a moment to rescue the mail he noticed waiting for him in the mailbox. Storing the envelope into a pocket without so much as studying the postage mark, he was distracted by the sight of the proverbial yellow vehicle as it drove past his house.

He watched in solemn resignation as the school bus carried his offspring away, before again being brought back to reality by the waiting soldier.

“Sir?”

“Yes, sorry,” he muttered, the despair evident in his face as he boarded the khaki vehicle. As they set off he watched helplessly as the Arizona sands swept by, mingling seamlessly with those of their neighbouring state. How long he would spend in the military base at Nevada was a question he tried hard not to dwell on.

Chapter Seventeen

2008-08-19T12:11:00.003+01:00

The shrill sound of the alarm clock pierced through the stillness of the room, causing Tank to wake with a start at the unwelcome noise. A tanned hand swooped upon the device to swat it as though silencing a buzzing fly. He felt the overwhelming urge to nestle back into the pillow, but being a naturally early riser he quickly brushed such temptations aside. The clock had been set for a reason after all – it was Monday morning, the start of what was now their last week of school for the year.

He found it more of an effort than usual to haul himself from the bed, rubbing at his eyes and grateful that his injury had healed, for the most part at least; still a little tender, but not as bad as it had been. His heart sank however when he remembered Ripp's broken wrist, and was already rehearsing the story he'd need to give inquiring minds at school on his way to the bathroom.

The grip on his razor tightened as Tank peered into the reflective glass, fighting the rising sadness as images of the night before assailed his mind's eye. This time he was alone, and felt it more than ever.

After shutting off the aggravating racket from his own alarm clock, Johnny succumbed once more to the loving embrace of sleep as he snuggled up to his partner. Just another half hour, he promised dozily as his arms encircled Ripp's body.

"Come on you two!" Tank commanded, "If I can stay outta bed after a sleepless night, so can you!"

Ripp's brow twitched into a frown as he sleepily rose, yielding to a large yawn as Tank approached the bed.

"What's that meant to mean?" he slurred, his brain struggling to blow away the cobwebs of sleep as his older brother sat on his side of the bed.

"I mean I know what you two were up to last night," Tank teased, now fully awake for now as a playful smile tugged at his lips. "Were you at it all night or somethin'?"

"Oh," Ripp smiled sheepishly, glancing at his equally uncomfortable boyfriend who gazed at Tank looking no more alert than Ripp. The youngest frowned once more as he looked up at his brother, whose words earlier now filtered into his mind.

"What's your story?" Ripp asked.

Tank smiled sadly in reply as he rose from Ripp's bedside.

"I'll tell ya later," he muttered as he left, "Better get yourselves ready."

Tank paced the front porch as he awaited an answer to his knocks, walking down the steps and idly scanning the horizon. His eyes locked onto the graveyard, a sensation of loss building inside as he now found himself pondering a possibility.

"Tank?"

He turned at the sight of his girlfriend, not hiding the despair in his face as he watched her approach. He glided his arms around her waist as she placed a greeting kiss upon his lips, but it was plain to her that all was not well with him.

"What's wrong?"

"Is Mom here?" he blurted, nodding his head in a gesturing fashion at the domestic cemetery.

Ophelia swallowed a lump in her throat as a knot formed in her stomach.

"How do you know she's dead?" she asked softly.

"Long story," Tank explained, noting the look upon her face. "She is, ain't she?"

She slowly nodded, hastily adding; "Look, I only found her after that shopping trip on Saturday, when I went to visit my own parents. Learned some things myself, and I don't just mean about your mom."

"What do you mean?" Tank quizzed, his head tilted in interest.

"That somewhere out there, I got a cousin," she explained, but left it there. It wasn't her place to disclose secrets her aunt had told her, that otherwise would most likely have been taken to her grave.

Tank's eyebrows twitched in surprise, his head cocked in intrigue.

"Male or female?"

"Male."

"Did she give a name?"

"Yeah," she frowned, "Gene Thanasia, she said." She gave a bemused shrug. "You know anyone by that name?"

His mouth now preoccupied by a large yawn, Tank could only shake his head in response. Any further questions would have to wait until he'd replenished his usually plentiful energy levels.

The teenagers boarded the bus, deciding to take the empty seats at the back. Tank drowsily rested his head on her shoulder, his eyes soon closing as he took a chance to catch up a little on some lost sleep.

"Oh dear," she muttered with a smile. Knowing he was usually so alert in the mornings, she decided to let him rest. As she stroked his head though, she began to wonder what had happened to keep him awake the night before, and whether it had anything to do with unfounded knowledge of his mother's death.

Tank's eyes opened suddenly, the jeers ringing through his mind like the bell of an angry alarm clock. Glancing upwards and finding his brother heading for the back seats, he recognised the nature of the remarks as mainly referring to the green youth following him. As Johnny bitterly dismissed them, something snapped within Tank as he dove into his school bag, beginning to scribble into the notebook he'd produced. Ophelia leant over his shoulder as he wrote, inquisitively scanning the words as they formed on the paper.

"Such hatred pervades society today, under many guises or 'phobias' but with the same misguided anger. Funny really, phobia actually means an irrational fear of something, which suggests that hatred is born of fear. Hatred in turn breeds violence, something I am only too familiar with. As my eyes rest upon my brother's injured arm I am reminded of the violence triggered by two forms of hatred, homophobia being one. Something our father had displayed time and again, that thankfully he never tried to force upon me; an unreasonable fear indeed, that I never could understand and probably never will. Sparked by the sight of two young men in love, yet, with one of them, enough to trigger a second phobia; one that had been pressed upon me with a degree of urgency, that now runs rampant through the school bus as the boys in question join our compulsory journey. One I had expressed myself without question, but now can understand no more than I could the first.

"The term is less familiar, but its existence is just as common. Xenophobia: an extreme or irrational fear of strangers, foreigners or anyone perceived as different. People like my brother's boyfriend, an old adversary of mine before I had received the proverbial slap in the face that was long overdue. Aliens were the enemy according to our father and, like the blind fool I was before, I believed him. I hated Ripp for mingling with them as much as I hated the green lad himself. Yet I also hated Dad for leading me down the lonely road that bigotry of any form paves, for what Ripp had once said is true; the world would be a dull place if we were all the same, so hating anyone different only serves to isolate you from the majority of people. It is more noticeable once you wake from the dream that we should all be alike, to the reality that we all differ in some way. I have more friends now than when I was under Dad's spell, two of them being the very people I once treated with contempt – two people who in fact are among the nicest I have ever encountered.

"Prejudice spawned of such fear is truly unfounded. They say look and you shall find; search within the fog of myth and hatred and you will uncover the hidden treasure…"

Tank trailed off as memories of his encounter with his departed mother replayed in his mind.

"It's never too late to find the buried treasure."

Tears stung his eyes at the image, and the waterfall of words that flowed so freely before now turned to ice. All he could do was stow his notebook back into his bag as he looked across at where Ripp and Johnny had taken their seats, adjacent to where he sat with Ophelia. A loving smile flickered upon his lips as he spotted them, fast asleep in each other's arms and regaining some of the energy they had frittered away the previous night.

The couple rolled their eyes as they approached their school, looking about themselves as they noticed expressions of disgust. Johnny shook his head in mild disbelief as yet more derogatory comments hung in the air, this time taking on a different nature.

"I dunno," Johnny muttered, "First 'space invaders', now it's the pride march. What's their problem anyways?!"

Ripp snorted in response, before a mischievous smile spread across his face. He nudged Johnny, arching a knowing eyebrow when his head turned to face him.

"What?"

"They want gay pride?" Ripp suggested, "Let's give it to 'em!"

With that he wrapped his arms around Johnny, who wore a sly grin of his own as he guessed at the meaning behind his words.

"Not a bad idea," Johnny replied, taking the younger boy into his arms as the pair pulled themselves closer together. Without another word they were upon one another, their mouths firmly massaging each other as their embrace tightened.

Although their initial intentions were to antagonise their tormentors, they quickly became lost in the moment as various sounds of disapproval washed over them. All that now mattered was the expression of their love, and the desire to make that known to all who cared to watch.

"Oh, that is so gross…"

Dustin Broke looked across at his girlfriend Angela, his brow twitching in puzzlement as he glanced back at the gay couple.

"What?" he quizzed, "Not like they're doing anything we haven't…"

"They're both guys!" she spluttered in reply.

"So?" he countered, gesturing about himself, "What's the big deal? They're just a couple… very much in love by the looks of it," he finished with a wistful smile.
Angela arched a disapproving eyebrow at his remark, before frowning as he beckoned her over.

"What?"

He draped an arm over her shoulder when the distance between them narrowed, gently twisting her head in their direction.

"Now, look hard," he mumbled into her ear, "And tell me what's so different about those two that makes it worse than when we do that."

Angela raised an eyebrow as she decided to humour him.

"Erm, one's a guy, and…"

"Yeah yeah," Dustin grumbled, "So imagine for a sec that Ripp's a chick."

Angela sniggered at this. Not so hard to do, she pondered with amusement as she continued to study the couple.

The more she did so, the stronger the twinge of sadness that tugged at her heart, as she began to wish she'd see even a tenth of that love displayed by her own parents. The light in which she now saw the boys changed through that alone, even when Rose had long since reverted to Ripp.

"I hate him so much," Angela confessed, a tear trickling down her cheek.

"Who, your old man?" Dustin checked, already sure of the answer.

Angela merely nodded, brushing the trail of salty water from her face as he pulled her close. Dustin pecked her crown before glancing back up at the couple in the distance, becoming alert as their lips finally parted.

"Come on you," he coaxed her, "Methinks you have some grovellin' to do."

The boys' kissing had ended for now, but still they absorbed the heat from their lover's body as they gripped each other, their noses intermittently rubbing together. Not a word was spoken by either of them, the silence broken only by their heavy breathing and the sound of Johnny's lips meeting with Ripp's forehead, yet plenty was said in their actions, even their gaze as they studied each other's features intently.

"Erm, sorry to interrupt, guys…"

"Hey Dustin," Ripp greeted with a smile, before spotting the girl by his side. His eyes instinctively narrowed on sight of her, although his expression relaxed on noticing her manner was sullen. He looked across at Dustin with a questioning air.

"Angie has something to say," Dustin continued, turning his attention to his girlfriend, "Don'tcha babes?"

Angela slowly eyed Ripp with what he saw to be genuine apology as she spoke.

"Sorry I gave you such a hard time," she said, before giving a broad shrug, "Guess it says somethin' when two guys show more love for each other than your own damn parents."

Ripp's features softened at her words, giving a sad smile as he replied.

"Hey, it's cool," he accepted, his smile taking on a different manner as he addressed Dustin, "Don't suppose you could work your magic on the other one too?"

"Oh, you mean Lilith?" he checked, before giving a snort of disapproval. "Trust the word of some street hawker dude? You gotta be kiddin' me."

"Don't have to stay that way," Ripp hinted, "You play bass or keyboard? We're still looking for people…"

"Erm, yeah," Johnny cut in, "Let's wait for your hand to get better first, huh?"

"Oh yeah, I noticed that," Angela remarked, "How'd that happen anyways?"

"Slipped off the front porch," Ripp mumbled, studying his shoes.

Johnny caught sight of his friends and gave them a wave before excusing them both, leaving Dustin and Angela watching as they made for their usual table.

"Slipped off the porch?" she repeated, "How'd he manage that?"

Dustin scoffed in reply, prompting a strange look from Angela as she glanced at him.

"Slipped my ass," he retorted, "So how'd he get those marks on his face?!"

Angela's head slowly turned towards Dustin as it registered what he was implying. He smiled sardonically as he shot her a sideways glance, watching as the male couple engaged in conversation with the other two at the table.

"Come on," he explained, "I've been on the streets long enough to know what can happen in a fight."

"You think it was his old man," she observed.

"You hear about it all the time," Dustin agreed, "Parents beatin' the crud outta their kids, an' the poor guys won't even admit it to anyone." He looked around furtively, before adding, "I didn't say that though, okay? None of our business what really happened, even with him being a bad liar. Don't wanna add to whatever shit he has already."

"Well," Angela agreed with a raised eyebrow, "Nice to know at least, we ain't the only ones with problems."

Chapter Sixteen

2008-07-21T02:51:00.010+01:00

Ripp crashed onto the bed in a sorrowful daze, his head still spinning from the meeting with his father earlier in the day. Johnny crawled across the width of the bed to lay a hand on his shoulder, kissing his cheek.

“You okay?” he checked.

“Yeah,” Ripp sighed, before pulling back the covers as he slid under them.

The two boys laid in the dark for a spell, Ripp resting his head on Johnny’s chest and enjoying the soothing sound of his heartbeat, while Johnny smoothed down his brown hair as he held him close.

“Been one hell of a weekend, huh?” Johnny mused.

Ripp scoffed a little in reply, before moving away from his chest and making eye contact. His fingers stroked Johnny’s face as he moved closer, enlisting some help as he did so.

“Kiss me,” he urged in a hushed tone.

Johnny smiled as he pulled them both closer together, clutching Ripp’s face as their mouths idly brushed together. Something stirred within Ripp as he increased the strength of his kisses, rolling on top of Johnny as his breathing deepened. Johnny gripped him tightly as he felt engulfed by the blaze raging through Ripp’s being. Ripp’s lips left Johnny’s to glide along the green flesh of his cheek and across to his ear.

Johnny nibbled at his bottom lip, his breathing increasing in pace as he clutched Ripp’s head. Ripp began to work down Johnny’s face to plant soft kisses along his neck, but paused as he found himself about to explore his chest, watching it rise and fall for a moment as he realised where the moment was leading. His head rose once more to Johnny’s face as he peered down apologetically, feeling his cheeks burn in embarrassment.

“Sorry,” he muttered, “I didn’t mean to push anything…”

“It’s okay,” Johnny smiled, pulling him closer before caressing his face, “I want this so much…”

Ripp beamed, fanning the flames while moving to kiss his lover’s lips once more as they gripped each other fiercely. A joint moan arose from the pair as they embraced, Johnny’s hands reaching downward to tug at Ripp’s shorts before creeping up his back to pull him closer still. Unlike Ripp, Johnny’s knowledge of sex stopped there, and now he relied on his younger partner to teach him all that needed to be learnt.

Ripp teased Johnny’s senses with his mouth as he worked down his body, exploring his torso with his lips as he slid down the bed. Johnny began to gasp for air as though there was little left, the anticipation growing to unbearable proportions.

After a while, Ripp ceased his torment and climbed back up the bed, placing a single kiss upon Johnny’s lips before rising to a sitting position. Johnny paused in thought for a moment as he remembered an important aspect of his past that needed to be questioned.

“’Old on,” Johnny interrupted, tapping Ripp’s leg, “You are clean, I take it?”

Ripp smiled a little as he gazed down at the green lad. Johnny couldn’t help but notice a sadness in his smile that was reflected in his blue eyes.

“Yeah, I’m clean,” Ripp reassured him, before their bodies merged into one. Their eyes closed as they basked in the raw emotion which floated through the air like an intoxicating perfume, mixing with the natural scent of their bodies to add fuel to their already raging fire as it consumed their very souls.

Tank slept fitfully once again, the spirit of his mother watching with sadness in her eyes as she stood by his side. He flinched a little as her icy fingers glided across his forehead, but continued to torture himself with the talk he had with Ripp once safely tucked away in his room.

Although Tank’s eyes stung with the threat of tears, the salty waters remained in check as he struggled to process his thoughts. Ripp laid a hand on his shoulder as they both recovered from the impromptu confrontation with their father, and Tank became grateful that, for now at least, Ripp seemed to have pulled himself from the pit of despair just enough for him to notice the world around him. It was time they had that talk.

“I’ll be okay,” Tank dismissed with a smile, which quickly faded as he got to the point. “I take it Johnny and Philly know what you did with your cherry?”

Ripp’s hand dropped to his side as his head hung, feeling the flames of shame lick at his cheeks.

“Yeah,” he replied, before looking back at Tank, “Look, I needed someone to talk to, and you…”

“Were still bein’ a jerk,” Tank finished dryly, “I know.”

Ripp returned his gaze to the floor as he stirred uncomfortably, bracing himself for the interrogation.

“How old were you?”

Ripp mumbled incoherently as he continued to study his shoes.

“What was that?” Tank quizzed with a frown.

Ripp remained quiet, prompting his brother to repeat the question.

“Thirteen,” he muttered, tears welling at his eyes as he gazed back at Tank. “I was thirteen when I fucked Mike, okay?!”

“Mike?” Tank echoed softly, not expecting to be given a name. “How old was this Mike?”

“He was fifteen at the time,” Ripp explained, “There was this meetin’ arranged by a support forum I’d joined, that’s how we bumped into each other.”

“What about these others?” Tank tested with a hint of suspicion, “Did you meet them through these gatherings?”

“They were part of the forum, but no,” Ripp replied, his tone quietening as he felt another pang of humiliation, “There’d be posts about ‘looking for friends or more,’ that kinda thing…”

Tank straightened up in his seat as he eyed him sternly, barely daring to believe his ears.

“’Old on,” he checked, “You just went meetin’ these guys that you didn’t know?!”

“We spoke a little first,” Ripp offered with a shrug.

“On the phone?”

Ripp arched an eyebrow as he looked back at Tank. “Didn’t have a cell phone, did I? Only way I managed to get one at all was my wages from work, and that weren’t ‘til later.”

“We have a phone here…”

“Oh come on, Tank!” Ripp bit, “I couldn’t even check the site without one of you guys breathin’ down my neck!”

“You’re missin’ the point!” Tank retaliated, his voice raising as he struggled to keep a grip on his patience. “Are you really that naïve?! You have any idea how many pervs are crawlin’ the net these days?”

“The place is moderated y’know,” Ripp supplied, burying his discomfort at the mention of predators.

“That don’t make a scrap o’ difference,” Tank snapped, “Middle aged guys go on these places all the time, seein’ who they can prey on. You’re damn lucky you ever came back, you could easily have wound up in a ditch somewhere…!”

“Like either of you woulda cared at the time,” Ripp grumbled in reply.

The brutality of his words clamped upon Tank’s throat with a cruel grip, restricting his use of speech. Ripp took advantage of the break in words to deliver his own harsh verdict on the matter.

“Try putting yourself in my place for a minute,” Ripp explained coolly, “Your dad spouts off about the very thing you’ve known yourself to be. You’re made to feel like a freak; you’re unloved, unwanted, you feel worthless. Your only friend is an eight year old who can’t understand any of what’s going on with his fucked up family. Your dad and older brother treat you like a piece of shit, life as a whole ain’t worth living.” Ripp’s voice reached a crescendo as the resentment grew inside, now almost yelling the rest of his speech. “Now you sit there an’ tell me you’d care if you got out alive!? That you’d even want to come back to a place where your own family wouldn’t notice if you’d gone?! Only reason I ever stayed was because there was nowhere else to go – I begged Mom to take me with her when she left!”

Tank was left with his head buried in his hands as the words filtered into his tormented mind. The boy was right of course, both father and oldest son had made Ripp’s life a nightmare. There was something Tank needed to rectify though, and it also served as a chance to finally tell him what he’d wanted to say.

“I have cared, Ripp,” he uttered meekly, not hiding the extent of the damage dealt by his accusations, “I’ve always cared… I know I ain’t shown it before now an’ I’m sorry, but it’s true. Dad cares too, I know he does.”

“Dad hates me,” Ripp remarked woefully, once more tumbling into the chasm trapping him the day before.

“He doesn’t hate you,” Tank told him, slipping an arm round his shoulder, “You’re a great guy Ripp, you’re everythin’ he loved about Mom… maybe he just feels guilty about that an’ won’t admit it…”

Past bitterness and present feeling of loss took their toll on the younger youth, the very mention of their mother pushing him over the brink and into a weeping wreck.

A tear trickled from the corner of his eye, leaving a trail that glistened in the moonlight as the salty droplet brushed past the tip of his ear. If Lyla remained in her body she would have felt a similar sensation in her eyes, but nonetheless she gazed upon him with a heavy heart. There was a slither of light that parted the clouds as she realised he was in fact back to the boy she’d remembered him to be, the protective brother who used to fight Ripp’s corner in school. The beam of light grew ever wider as she felt another feeling, that of relief, and in her curiosity she began to leaf through his memories, wondering how and when this change occurred.

The air was still, punctuated only by the happy panting of the two boys as they lay in each other’s arms. Johnny gazed down lovingly at the young man below, whose blue eyes sparkled in delight as they merely smiled at each other for a moment, peering into each other’s eyes while they combed their fingers through their partner’s hair.

“That was incredible,” Johnny grinned fondly, brushing his nose against Ripp’s.

“Sure was,” Ripp agreed, a warm smile taking hold of his lips as he ran a finger along his cheek, “I’ve dreamed for so long of this moment.”

Johnny leaned closer, and Ripp could feel his breath upon his face as his alien lover spoke again.
“I love you so much,” he whispered softly, pecking Ripp’s lips.

“I love you Johnny,” Ripp replied, his grip tightening on Johnny, “I love you so much.”

Johnny allowed more of his weight to press against Ripp’s body as he placed a lingering kiss on his lips, and soon their mouths locked together as the dormant flame in their hearts began to burn with a new intensity.

Much time had passed and Lyla had disappeared, leaving Tank wide awake and hyperventilating as the images of his nightmare lingered in his mind. He hadn’t screamed as Ripp had done the night before, a mere yelp escaping his lips as he’d jolted from his slumber, and once recovering his bearings he swung his legs down from the bed, sitting there for a moment as he felt himself shaking.

He attempted to regain control of his breathing, swallowing a rising lump in his throat. The mixed emotions playing havoc with his mind were also swallowed back into his stomach where they began to stew, inducing a wave of nausea that rippled through his being. Before long that ripple grew into a wave that sent him racing into the bathroom.

Groaning and shuddering as the last of his meal left his stomach, his hands gripped the bowl as he pulled himself to his feet. After tugging at the cistern handle, he made his way over to the basin and flushed the sickly taste from his mouth. When his eyes met the mirror however he froze, once more in distress at the sight of the reflection in the glass.

“Mom…?” he whimpered, a hand slowly reaching for the polished surface.

“I’m so proud of you Tank,” she told him, “The way you’ve turned things around, reverted to the person I remember you being…”

Tank swallowed hard as words from his memories drifted through his mental ears.

“Don’t let yourself change into the beast your father has become.”

Tears flowed from his eyes as he studied her face, the scene of her murder plaguing his mind’s eye once again. There was no question any more, Ripp had been right… and with such a cruel image painted too. He wished so hard to not remember her in such a way.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered, “Sorry for not being as close as I could have been…”

“Don’t worry about that,” she soothed, “Some bond better with their fathers…”

Tank’s head lowered at the mention, yet she seemed to sense the cause and continued.

“I married him for a reason,” she told him with a smile, “It’s never too late to find the buried treasure.”

“I so hope you’re right,” he replied, his eyelids clenched shut as he propped his head against the mirror. “I just want my father back.”

He opened his eyes and lifted his head, only to find she had evaporated and left him alone in the bathroom. Again feeling in despair, the sobs worked their way back up his throat as he sank onto the toilet seat.

Never had he been so glad for an en-suite bathroom. Walking back to the bedroom, he sat upon the bedclothes as the mental images continued to linger. Only now he was grateful for that, his hand diving under the pillow to retrieve his notebook. There was no way he could sleep until every last demon had been exorcised onto the paper.

For the second time that night, the heat of passion radiated into the room from the two boys as they clung to each other. Johnny placed tender kisses along Ripp’s throat, before already starting to sit up as he grew impatient.

Ripp frowned as he watched, his eyes widening a little as he guessed what he had in mind.

“Whoa, whoa!” he exclaimed gently but urgently, pulling him back towards him, “I went down for a reason.”

“You did?” Johnny asked with a frown, “I thought it was jus’… I dunno, like kissin’ I guess.”

“Foreplay?” Ripp checked, smiling a little.

“If that’s what you call it.”

Ripp chuckled at his innocence. “Ah, you have a lot to learn,” he mused, before his smile slipped a little, “Like why it’s so important to do that first.”

“It is?” Johnny pondered, scratching his head in bemusement and frustration. Ripp sensed his annoyance and sucked at his fingers, before sliding his hand down Johnny’s back. The green boy gasped at this new sensation, the fire inside instantly becoming an inferno as he leaned forward, clamping his lips over Ripp’s as they embraced.

The urge now was too strong to resist, and Johnny once more began to rise. Again, much to his aggravation, Ripp tugged at his arms.

“Haven’t you learned anything?” Ripp challenged, growing annoyed for Johnny’s sake, “If you don’t go down first, it’s gonna hurt!”

Johnny paused as he considered Ripp’s movement with his hand before, and finally the penny dropped.

“Oh!” he exclaimed, “Why didn’t you just say?!”

“I didn’t wanna break the mood,” he replied quietly.

Johnny chuckled, leaning forwards to taste his lips again. This time he heeded Ripp’s advice as he began to crawl down the bed, experimenting with what he’d picked up the first time. He never noticed the look of relief on Ripp’s face before he began to instruct his apprentice, peering downwards as he felt Johnny’s inexperienced fumblings below his waist.

“You okay down there?” he asked with a smile.

“I think so,” the little voice replied from further south, “Didn’t see what you did, but I’ll give it a shot…”

After a while, Ripp gave an indicative tug at Johnny’s head as he spoke.

“Whoa, that’s enough,” he told him.

“Aww, was jus’ getting into it too!” Johnny smiled as he climbed back up the bed, now rising for a third time to a sitting position.

“Some other time you can finish the job, if you like it that much,” Ripp winked with a twinkle in his eye. “Now take it easy, don’t wanna hurt yourself…”

Too late, he mused, his stomach lurching as he noticed Johnny’s features crease into a flinch.

“Ow,” he complained softly, “Wonder if women have to mess about like this?”

Ripp could only shrug in reply, before Johnny’s warmth spread through his whole being, their bodies fusing together for the second time that night.

Tank gave another yawn as his right hand slowly began to cease its scrawling, his eyelids sliding downwards of their own volition. Time for bed, he told himself, and tucked his notebook back under his pillow.

“Oh for…!” he grumbled, swallowing hard but this time for a different reason. Vomiting, the fright of seeing a ghost and crying are all thirsty work, he observed in frustration as he rose from the bed.

Softly padding along the landing so as not to wake the others, he made his way to the stairs. As he passed Johnny’s room he paused, frowning in confusion as his ears detected something from within.

“Still awake?” he asked himself, scarcely above a whisper as he backed away from the stairs towards the door. The nature of the sounds filtering through the wood struck him as odd, his innocent mind not sure what to make of them at first.

Hold on, isn’t that Ripp? They’re both….?

“Oh boy,” he groaned to himself, feeling his cheeks redden as he scurried down the stairs to the kitchen. With all that he’d endured so far in the night, this was just the icing on a cake he didn’t care to eat.

The flames of desire continued to heat the room, Ripp finding new lessons to teach his eager student as the hours ticked by. This time he rose to his knees and gripped the headboard, although something triggered an attack of anxiety as he felt Johnny’s presence behind him. Reminders of previous conversations drifted through his mind, mingling with other, stronger memories that returned from the shadows of his past to haunt him once more. He found his growing worries harder to bury as he felt hands upon him and, as sensitive skin brushed against his own, he could already hear the frightened cries rising from his throat before they became audible to his partner.

“Stop, please!”

Johnny frowned in confusion at the odd nature of his request, and in concern at the urgency of his cry. The latter caused him to quickly release his grip and back away, waiting for Ripp to slump against the headboard before approaching to slip an arm round his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Ripp uttered, allowing Johnny to pull him closer into his arms.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Johnny reassured him, “What is it, bad memories or somethin’?”

Ripp nodded before beginning to explain.

“This guy I was with,” he began, “He didn’t wear the condom I gave him, didn’t use lubrication either.” He cringed at the memory as he continued. “He wouldn’t stop when I told him to, even when I was screaming just from the pain…”

“Geez,” Johnny breathed, “Sounds like rape to me!”

“Oh, it wasn’t rape,” Ripp reassured him, “He just got really rough. Still freaked me out though.”

Johnny frowned in concern, an alarm beginning to sound loudly in his head.

“’Old on a minute,” Johnny challenged, a fear now nagging at the forefront of his mind, “You gave him a condom, and he didn’t wear it?!”

“Yeah,” Ripp spat in reply, “Had to be treated for STDs too, the bastard.” He looked back at Johnny as he realised what he was getting at. “I’m clean now, just as I said I was – not surprisingly, he was my last one.”

“And you’re absolutely sure about that?”

“I went for a routine check after I finished my treatment,” Ripp affirmed, “All clear.”

Johnny allowed the initial tide of relief to wash over him, before noticing something amiss in what Ripp had said earlier.

“How many nasty surprises did he give you?”

“Two,” came the bitter reply, “And I was still lucky, apparently. Something to do with it being easier to catch other shit ‘cause I was bleeding.”

“Sheesh,” Johnny muttered, before eying the younger boy with a deliberate stare. “How can you sit there and say that weren’t rape?! You even freaked out while I was about to…”

“I went there expectin’ to get laid!”

“You weren’t expectin’ him to tear your ass open, were ya?!” Johnny countered, “You said yourself, you were beggin’ ‘im to stop but he kept goin’. That’s rape, Ripp.”

Tears welled at Ripp’s eyes as his head shook, still trying to cling to the theory he’d lived by since the incident occurred. Johnny meanwhile was growing more angry by the minute as the picture became clearer; not at Ripp of course, but whoever it was who’d done this to him.

“It started out fine,” Ripp whimpered, “We made out, we stripped, both of us were hard as rocks… It was only when I felt the pain, when he was already inside me…”

“Don’t matter how far you went,” Johnny told him, “Stop means stop, an’ if ‘e respected ya he’d ‘ave fuckin’ listened!” Johnny’s anger bubbled over, his voice raising as he continued to speak. “He couldn’t even put on that piece o’ rubber you gave ‘im, he put you at risk through that alone! Then he leaves off the lubricant, on purpose no doubt; if he’d jus’ forgotten it he’d ‘ave stopped.”

Johnny’s blood was boiling now, every word he spoke adding another stroke to the canvas as it became plain what had really happened. “He didn’t invite you over for a fuck, he wanted to hurt you from the get-go. Course it started fine, he needed you to think that so he’d get away with it.”

Johnny could have continued on his tirade, but stopped himself on noting Ripp’s stricken expression.

Tears were now streaming down the pale cheeks of the younger lad, Johnny's words smashing to pieces any hope he had left that it was no more than a bad sexual experience. The memories came flooding back as though it had happened hours before, of how much he had trembled after it was over, how angry he had been at the young man, how violated he’d felt…

It was the latter that served as the trigger, that pressed home the full impact of an event that he’d hoped to have forgotten, although then Ripp never cried. Now was different, his shoulders shaking visibly from the force of the sobs as Johnny took him into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Johnny murmured as he stroked his hair, “I’m so sorry.”

Chapter Fifteen

2008-07-11T21:27:00.003+01:00

Buzz smiled to himself as he noted how different Tank’s room was to Ripp’s; the lack of used dinnerware, the nature of the posters adorning the walls… the piece of paper laid upon the bedside cabinet?

Frowning, Buzz approached the sheet of paper and picked it up to investigate further, recognising the handwriting of his eldest even in its scrawled form – rough notes for his school-work? He often wrote drafts in this way, although he didn’t usually leave them lying around. The title of ‘Jack-in-the-box’ was different, Buzz pondered, not like him to write about toys. It was curiosity that pulled him further into the work, each line at first serving to spark more intrigue than the last.

“You okay?” Johnny asked, watching Ripp slump against the back of the sofa.

“I need a cigarette,” came the plaintive reply.

Tank straightened up in his seat as his steely gaze bored into his younger brother.

“I beg your pardon?!” he checked slowly.

Ripp was brought back to earth with a bang as he sheepishly eyed the muscular form in the chair.

“Oops,” he uttered, quickly lowering his gaze to the carpet. Johnny smiled awkwardly as he looked across at Tank, coughing apprehensively.

“Anythin’ else you wanna tell me?!” Tank prompted bitterly.

“Go easy Tank,” Johnny urged him, “It ain’t like he could even trust ya ‘til recently.”

Tank nursed his forehead for a moment, before looking back at Ripp.

“Don’t lecture me about it,” Ripp groaned, “Things just got worse an’ worse, to the point where drums were no longer enough.”

“How’d you manage to keep somethin’ like that quiet?” Tank asked, “How’d you get hold of them?”

“Oh, a friend of mine at school,” Ripp explained, “Straight before you ask, but he’d tuck us away in one of the cubicles. Dunno how he got them, didn’t care. I was just at that point by then, where I’d asked to try one,” he continued with a shrug, “He’d offer me these strong mints too, to get rid of the smell on my breath.”

“When was this?”

“Not ‘til about, ooh, six months ago I think.”

“I weren’t too happy about it either,” Johnny offered, “But what can you do? It ain’t like keepin’ candy from a baby, he’s too old for that.”

“Better than sleeping around, right?” Ripp reminded.

Tank gave a resigned shrug, before a random thought caused him to groan.

“Shit,” he muttered, looking back at Ripp, “Just remembered – you know what else I left back home?”

Ripp merely shrugged in reply.

“My school books!” Tank explained, “They got all my work in ‘em… can’t pick up fresh copies of that at the store!”

“We gotta go back home, in other words…?” Ripp uttered meekly.

“Come on,” Johnny offered, slapping Ripp’s knee, “We’ll all go, back each other up.”

“Nice idea,” Ripp agreed, “Maybe I can get those packs I left at home too… if Dad hasn’t found them, that is!”

Buzz’s head turned in fascination at the sound of a key turning in the lock, and leaned over the banister on the landing to peer down at the door as it opened. His heart skipped a beat on the sight of his eldest children, noting dryly their tentative entry into what was still their home, and slunk down the stairs just in time to notice the owner of the green hand clutching that of Ripp’s. Buzz’s reaction, however, surprised even himself – he no longer cared, suppressing only the mild disgust at the sight of two males holding hands.

“Hi guys,” he greeted weakly, causing the two former residents to turn with a start at the sound of his voice.

Ripp’s grip tightened on Johnny’s hand as he fought against the memories of their last encounter, and Tank was engaged in a similar battle as he swallowed the forming lump in his throat.

“Hey Dad,” the sixteen year old replied as he struggled to regain control of the situation, “Look, I just came for my school books, I don’t want a war.”

“Neither do I,” came the sullen reply, and movement of his hand pulled Tank’s eyes to a scrap of paper he was holding. The boy’s heart plunged into a pit of dread as he once more gazed at his father, guessing before any other word was spoken what that paper contained.

“Is this how you’ve really felt all these years?” Buzz questioned with sadness in his eyes, “Like the jack-in-a-box doll?”

“Oh, that one,” Tank muttered evasively. He nursed the back of his head uncomfortably as his next remark slipped from his mouth before he had a chance to stop it.

“You weren’t meant to see that…”

“Pretty hard to miss when it’s layin’ on your end table,” Buzz explained, smiling sadly as he glanced at the paper in his hand, “Yeah, wouldn’t want my dad seeing something like that either, if I could even write something like this.”

Tank gazed back at his father, not hiding the tears beginning to gather at his eyes, but letting him speak as he sensed there was more to follow.

“Maybe there’s more of your mom there than I thought,” Buzz pondered, “That’s some talent you have there...”

“Thanks,” Tank accepted in a dismissive tone, “Look, I just came for my school bag…”

“Sure,” Buzz nodded, “Doubt any of us are thinking straight enough for anything more.”

Tank briefly frowned at his father’s quick agreement, before deciding flight was the best course of action for all three of them at this moment in time. Too much had happened for them to now engage in an ugly confrontation.

“Come on Ripp,” Tank offered, pulling the quiet teenager away and up the stairs.

Johnny watched them go, keeping an eye and ear open for the closing of a bedroom door before looking back at his boyfriend’s father.

“You’re gonna like this even less,” Johnny began, “But that incident with Ripp needed to get reported. You all need serious help…”

“I know.”

Johnny stared in surprise at Buzz as he spoke, and the man returned his gaze as their green eyes locked onto each other.

“Oh, it’s easy for people to think that I haven’t noticed,” Buzz told him, “But I have. Sure, it took me long enough, but little things like spotting your son’s plastered wrist and knowing you’re the one who caused it…”

“Three guesses who’s payin’ for it,” Johnny hinted, crossing his arms.

“Tricare will,” Buzz told him, a knowing smile playing upon his mouth at noticing Johnny’s puzzled expression. “Government funded insurance firm, they look after us army boys.”

“Oh, right,” Johnny acknowledged with a shrug, “I dunno much about that kinda thing.”

“Wouldn’t expect you to,” Buzz concurred, “Even if they don’t cover it all, it’ll take most of the weight off my wallet. Not that it matters; I wouldn’t expect anyone else to pay for my mistakes.”

Johnny scoffed at his remark, before speaking.

“Ripp did,” he told him, “He’d sooner have put himself into debt than see you faced with the bill. He even begged me not to say anythin’ about how he got in that state.”

Buzz smiled sadly as his head lowered, his gaze upon the floorboards as he allowed himself to drift.

“Doesn’t surprise me,” he mused, “I was the same. Didn’t wanna go to school the following day, knowing the questions I’d get about the bruises. I’d even get into fights just to prove that’s how I got them.”

Johnny slowly rubbed at his arms as he watched the general in his reverie. Words from the doctor rang in his mind, about the abused becoming the abuser. Everything about his behaviour suddenly slotted into place – well, nearly everything.

“What about Tank?” Johnny challenged, “What’d he do to piss you off?”

“He didn’t,” Buzz admitted, “Just… something came back, something about a knife…”

“Knife?” Johnny checked, now thoroughly puzzled. His confusion only grew when Buzz’s hand travelled to the site of his scar.

“Why they’re coming back now I don’t know,” Buzz pondered, “But I’ve been getting these strange dreams lately, and there’s always a knife involved. That episode with Tank triggered some kinda flashback, it’s all gotten worse since then.”

“Sounds like repressed memories to me,” Johnny suggested, continuing when Buzz looked sharply back at him, “Somethin’ so bad happened, your mind’s response is to block out those memories. Now it seems they’re fightin’ back.”

“You’re well informed,” Buzz mused.

“You tend to take more interest in medical stuff when your mom works in a hospital,” Johnny said, “An’ you tend to be more fascinated by science and the paranormal, when your uncles are scientists and your dad’s from another world.”

Buzz smiled a little at his remark. In all his hatred for Johnny’s extended as well as immediate family, he’d not bothered to learn anything of what made them all tick.

“True,” he conceded, beginning to wonder if this ‘enemy’ was as fearful as he’d always been led to believe. If aliens really meant ill will towards humans, why would one of them care to talk to him in such a way? It was almost as though he offered the kind of help he’d secretly sought all these years. Buzz decided, after some deliberation, to put that idea to the test.

“Where do I start?” he asked.

Johnny fought against the smile at the thought of a teenager giving advice to a grown man, replacing it with the noting of his mental age rather than physical. Buzz may have been somewhere in his thirties, but his troubled childhood seemed to keep his inner self at no more than Ripp’s age. He needed to break the chains of his past in order to mature and move on, and his question was a valid one.

“Well, the military seem to look after their soldiers,” Johnny observed, “I’m pretty sure they’d put you onto some kinda therapy…” Upon noticing the disapproving twitch of the man’s eyebrow, the green youth changed his manner.

“What is it about the mention of therapy that gets such a bad reaction from you guys?” he demanded, “Even Ripp yelled at me for darin’ to suggest it, an’ he’s normally so passive!”

Buzz gave a mild shrug as he once more crossed his arms.

“Something about disclosing the details of your sordid past to strangers,” Buzz replied dryly, “I couldn’t even do that with my then wife.”

“Those closest to you are the last ones anyone would trust with that kinda info,” Johnny explained, “Besides, therapists are paid to help, not judge.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe nothin’,” Johnny countered, “There’s a reason Ripp confided in me an’ not you. Apart of course, from the fact that you’d have killed him.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Buzz reminded him.

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed, “When it all came out, what he’d wanted to keep from you. You proved him right, in other words.”

Buzz fidgeted apprehensively on his feet as the hard truths were laid out before him. He’d received harsher beatings for less, and just the fact that he was now talking with an alien, a male that had won the heart of his son, was enough to remind him how different he really was to his father. The cycle was already beginning to break, albeit at a painstakingly slow rate, and with these long forgotten memories now returning to haunt him, Buzz had another reason to speed up the process. Who knows, he questioned quietly, he may even be forced onto such a programme, since his violent episode would surely reach the ears of his superior by the time he left for Nevada the next day. Assuming of course that he would even keep his job; he knew only too well the implications of his actions.

Tank watched with masked disdain as his younger brother replenished his nicotine levels, but knew better than to make his feelings known on the matter. He’d already suffered the wrath of Ripp’s vicious tongue for finally bringing up his promiscuous past, and both of them had been drained by not only that, but also the meeting with their father earlier.

“Better now?” Tank asked sardonically, as Ripp flicked the cigarette butt into the desert sand nearby.

“Oh yeah,” Ripp replied as he ducked back into the room, struggling to pull the window closed. Tank walked over and hooked his fingers over the frame, while Ripp cleared the way and foraged in his drawer for the tube of mints he kept there, popping one into his mouth before stashing the rest of the pack into his pocket. His eyes fell on the remainder of the boxes upon his bed, flitting across to his older brother as he turned to face him.

“Can I ask you a big favour please?”

Tank smiled significantly as he noticed his gaze. Without Ripp speaking another word Tank was upon his school bag, hoisting it onto Ripp’s bed and stowing the cigarette cartons into his backpack.

“Thanks,” Ripp smiled, “Kinda obvious why they got left, huh?”

Tank arched an eyebrow in reply.

“Come on,” he beckoned, “We’d better get goin’.”

Ophelia frowned as they ate in silence. She was in no mood to talk after a combination of renewed bereavement and the fate of her boyfriend’s mother, but she hadn’t expected it all to affect her aunt as well. Unless there was another reason, of course.

“Somethin’ wrong?” she asked innocently.

Olive shrugged in reply, mentally wrestling with the decision of whether or not to explain her own drop in mood.

“Well, guess you’ll know sooner or later,” came the unexpected response.

Ophelia cocked her head in bemusement, but let her continue.

“Just wondering about my son,” Olive confessed, checking her niece’s reaction carefully.

“Son?” Ophelia echoed, taken aback by the news, “What son?”

“The son who got taken away when he was little,” Olive explained, “The social worker wanted to keep his very existence secret. Given who his father is, I suppose that’s understandable.”

“What do you mean?” Ophelia asked, more confused by the minute.

Olive eyed the teenager with a mixture of apology and uncertainty, wondering how best to explain that it was possible to be romantically involved with the master of death.

Chapter Fourteen, Pt 2

2008-06-18T00:00:00.005+01:00

“Jackpot,” he smiled to himself as he browsed the forum. He had conducted an online search in his bid to find others like him, confident that such people existed, and had come across a support forum for homosexual and bisexual teenagers. He hesitantly looked about himself from his seat in the school library, hoping that no one he knew – Tank especially – would happen by and notice what was on his screen, before leisurely browsing through the various threads. The site had a lot to offer, from places to vent to arranging meetings. It was during one such time that he came across who would turn out to be his first boyfriend.

They shared small-talk and stories over a coffee as they got to know each other, relaying their experiences of tolerance or discrimination and comparing notes. When it came to Ripp’s turn, he grew upset as he recounted all that he had to endure from the oldest members of his household. As innocent as he was then, he hadn’t noticed the warmth in the gaze from the boy next to him, although Ripp had shot him a sneaky glance now and then to drink in his chiselled features and flowing blond hair. His name was Michael, or Mike as he preferred to be known, and his rich blue eyes became sad as Ripp finished his story.

“Damn, you poor thing,” one of the others remarked.

“You miss her?” another asked with concern.

“Very much,” came the choked reply, “I just wish I could talk to her alone when she calls, so I could tell her everything…”

“Don’t you have a cell phone?”

“No,” Ripp replied with a shake of his head.

“Can always ask your old man,” one suggested, “Say it’s in case of emergencies – you wouldn’t be lying, that’s why my mom got me one.”

Ripp snorted as he gave a cold reply.

“Dad don’t care about me,” he growled, “He don’t even know where I am now. He never asked.”

“Hey, I’m sure he does really,” Mike soothed, nursing Ripp’s shoulder, “You’re still his son after all.”

“Not if he found out about this,” Ripp replied, his head turning to face him. Tears began to seep from his eyes, which Mike reached to brush away.

“Come here,” he offered, pulling him into his arms.

His eyes closed, blinking away more tears as he rested against Mike’s chest, drinking in his bodily warmth and enjoying his tender touch as he felt his fingers begin to stroke his hair. So long it had been since he’d felt such closeness with anyone, the warmth flowing through his own being was starting to seem unfamiliar. The blond boy began to peck his head as he held him closer, his free hand clutching Ripp’s as it rested on his lap. Ripp felt his heart begin to race as his eyes opened and his gaze lowered, watching as Mike’s hand caressed his own, allowing his fingers to stroke the lad’s hand in return before looking back into those beautiful blue eyes.

Their friends wore knowing smiles, deciding now was a good time to end the gathering and leave them to it, as much as they could in a public place.

Ripp thudded back to reality as he glanced about himself. The faces passing them by were unfamiliar, but no less accusing as they watched the two boys in their embrace. Sensing his apprehension, Mike released his hand but his arm remained round his shoulder as he spoke.

“We can go somewhere else if you’d rather,” he offered, “Don’t wanna sound pushy, but no one’s home…”

Not realising the true meaning of his remark, Ripp slowly nodded in reply. All he wanted then was to enjoy his touch somewhere without getting gawped at by strangers.

“Well, here we are,” Mike announced as they stepped inside his domain, “Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks,” Ripp replied, glancing about himself but suddenly becoming a little edgy. He had never been in this situation before, and now was unsure of what lay ahead.

“You okay?” Mike asked, his hands gliding round Ripp’s waist.

“Yeah,” came the response, “I’ve just never done this before.”

“It’s cool,” Mike smiled, guiding Ripp’s arms around him before drawing him in closer, “Just relax, let it happen.”

Ripp’s breathing quickened in anticipation as he felt Mike’s breath upon his face, his eyes closing as he tasted another boy’s lips for the first time. An unfamiliar heat spread throughout his soul as he soon became lost in Mike’s arms, pulling him near as their mouths began to caress each other.

As he grew more sure in his movement, he allowed his hands to run up and down Mike’s back, tightening his grip as they shared the blaze now fiercely burning between them. Ripp could feel Mike’s probing tongue as it sought to explore further, brushing against his own as their clutches strengthened. A moan arose from Mike’s throat as a hand lowered to Ripp’s rear, pushing his lower body against his own. Ripp grew aware of a hard object like a rod pressing against him, where he was already beginning to feel uncomfortable in a strange way. Funnily enough, the pressure now upon that area seemed to ease the ache a little, even adding a pleasurable feeling that he had never encountered before. His breathing continued to increase in pace as he too let out a soft moan, their lips parting as he felt Mike’s mouth upon his cheek and neck. He could feel himself perspiring, the strange sensation in his cargos growing more intense as he lifted his head, granting Mike’s lips easier access to the tender flesh along his throat.

Mike’s head raised once more to Ripp’s level, his eyes smouldering with desire as his voice lowered to just above a whisper.

“You want to come upstairs?” he offered.

Ripp eagerly nodded, not knowing what to expect but ready to embrace whatever it may be.

They wasted no words once they reached Mike’s room, gripping each other firmly as their mouths once more locked together, before tugging at each other’s shirts. Mike pushed them both towards his bed and onto the mattress as he continued to ply him with kisses, grinding their bodies together as Ripp’s tongue grew inquisitive, reaching for the warm cave of Mike’s mouth. The blond youth pulled them both to a sitting position, his hand firmly clutching the bulge in Ripp’s groin and prompting another delighted moan as their lips met again. He guided Ripp’s hand towards his crotch before his fingers worked at the fastening of Ripp’s trousers. Ripp moaned again as he felt Mike’s grip, deciding to try the same himself, and soon their hands worked together as they continued their embrace.

Mike pulled his head away a little, just enough to allow him to speak as his breathing deepened.

“You like that?” he asked.

Ripp merely nodded in reply, beginning to nibble at his bottom lip as Mike continued to knead him for a spell. He then removed his hand to coax Ripp’s lower garments away from his body, the brunette boy kicking off his shoes as he did so before returning the favour. He had heard about sex before, if only from his prejudiced father, whose abhorrence of all that took place now piqued his curiosity as he wondered just how hideous it really was. His heart quivered in anticipation and excitement at the prospect of being able to find out.

Mike paused for a moment to rummage in a drawer, producing a small foil package which Ripp eyed in bewilderment.

“What’s that?”

Mike smiled at the question, before briefly explaining.

“I’ll show you how to put it on,” he finished, passing the foil to him.

Ripp accepted the package and began to wrestle with it as Mike once more reached for him, talking him through applying the thin rubber jacket once Ripp had freed it from the metallic seal. Once it was in place, the older boy instructed Ripp to turn round as they slid off the bed, Ripp’s hands now resting upon the bedclothes as his heartbeat quickened again, this time with a slight anxiety.

“I’m a little nervous,” he confessed.

“You’re bound to be,” Mike smiled, “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. Let me know if I am and I’ll listen, okay?”

Ripp nodded, firmly gripping the sheets as he felt him enter, chewing on his bottom lip as he gradually accommodated this new presence. Mike pressed forward a little too sharply, causing Ripp to grimace in pain.

“Ow,” he complained, “Slow down a little…”

“Sorry,” Mike apologised, before obliging. “This better?”

Ripp nodded and Mike continued to ease his way deeper inside him, prompting a gasp as Ripp’s eyes closed, his clutches tightening on the bedclothes.

“You okay?” Mike checked.

“Mm-hmm,” came the happy response.

Satisfied that he would no longer hurt him, Mike gave a moan as he plunged forth up to the hilt. Ripp’s back arched as he also gave a moan of delight, again nibbling his lip as Mike began to build up a rhythm.

“Does that feel good?” he murmured into his ear, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah,” Ripp groaned in reply, “Very… very good…”

He felt Mike’s breath on his face and turned his head to meet him, his eyes opening enough to peer back at the young lad who he’d granted such intimate access to his body. His hand laid on Mike’s face, bringing his head closer as he yearned to taste his sweet lips, moaning into his mouth as he once more felt Mike’s grip. Time lost its meaning as he immersed himself in his touch, enjoying the loving attentions he’d so sorely lacked at home since his mother had left.

“I don’t wish to see that, thank you!” she remarked in a light-hearted manner, watching as he stirred in his sleep. She had removed her hand when it grew obvious how far they were going, and now observed the boy with crossed arms and a playful stare as a smile flickered across his lips.

“Can I look again yet?” she asked no one in particular, leaning across to peer at his features.
Upon finding the same expression she did last time she checked, she rolled her eyes and feigned a check of her watch.

“Men,” she chided with a smile, “Well, they say a man thinks about sex every seven seconds.”

Her gaze flitted across to the green lad who was idly stroking his hair as they slept, and out of curiosity she investigated his memories for a moment. Her eyebrows twitched in wonder as she glanced between the two, while they continued to enjoy their very different dreams.

“Wow,” she acknowledged, her blue eyes once more resting upon the blond youth as a sadness tugged at her heart, “One year away from adulthood, and you’re the one who’s still a boy?”

Ripp seemed to settle, and to test the water she lay a finger once more upon his brow. Now it was merely his thoughts on what had happened, and to her relief they weren’t all good.

It had been nice, he admitted that much. Ripp could still picture them cuddled together afterwards as if it had happened yesterday, although even then it hadn’t felt quite as good as it could have been. Something was missing, only then of course he had no idea what. It hadn’t occurred to him at the time that Mike was mostly interested in the physical contact, even though he had plainly enjoyed his company in other ways. He was too young to realise that sex was meant to be a communication of love, and through the time that followed, he held no greater expectations of it than the gratification it offered him at the time. Looking back now, Ripp shifted awkwardly in his sleep as a rising tide of shame crept upon him. Now he knew better. Just a pity it took an exceptionally bad experience with one lad to make him realise the kind of damage he’d been causing himself.

“You’ve learned some hard lessons,” the woman muttered sadly as she continued to stroke his brow, “Haven’t you, my boy?”

The words drifted unheard through the air as she sought to explore further.

“Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Ripp pushed through the crowd of chanting teenagers in his bid to find out what this latest scrap was in aid of. His eyes widened when he recognised the now muscular form in the midst of the struggle, and grew angry as he threw himself among the grappling boys.

“Tank!!” he yelled as he pulled him off his opponent, before pushing him away, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Get off!” Tank snapped, lunging forwards once more. Ripp exerted an unusual burst of strength as he forcefully shoved him backwards.

“Leave the guy alone!” Ripp snarled, “What’s he ever done to you?”

“He’s alien!” came the angry reply, “Don’t tell me you ain’t noticed!”

Ripp refused to glance behind at the blond boy in question, his attentions focussed on the youth in front of him.

“What if he is?!” Ripp challenged, “Live and let live? Don’t that mean anything…?”

“Don’t start that shit again,” Tank retaliated, his eyes narrowing at his younger brother, “Aliens are the enemy, remember?”

“That’s Dad talking,” Ripp reminded him, “Ain’t you got your own mind?!”

Tank stubbornly shook his head in disbelief as he gazed back at Ripp. “You don’t give up, do ya?” he sneered.

“No I fucking don’t!!” Ripp yelled back, the frustration now bubbling over as he could feel his fists clenching, “What’s happened to the real Tank, huh? You never used to be like this!”

Tank remained silent for a moment, glancing between brother and alien as the words stung at his blue eyes. Aware of this, he marched off without another word.

Ripp allowed a moment to compose himself as he nursed his brow, before a voice behind startled him.

“Thanks.”

Ripp turned to face the lad he’d saved from his brother’s wrath, noting that indeed he was alien, but still not understanding why that should be a problem. Forest green blood glistened on the boy’s lips as it trickled from his nostrils, complementing the jade sheen of his skin. His eyes weren’t the extraterrestrial black Ripp had come to expect however, his very human irises a peaceful shade of green. Nothing in his demeanour posed even the remotest of threats as far as Ripp was concerned.

Ripp dug into his pocket as he approached, pulling forth a tissue that he applied to the blond teenager’s face, soaking up some of the blood from his mouth and nose.

“I’m really sorry about this,” Ripp apologised, “As much as it pains me to admit it…”

“He’s your brother?” the boy finished with a wry smile, “Was kinda obvious from what you were sayin’.”

Ripp allowed his head to drop for a moment as the arms of despair and humiliation encircled him.

“Yeah, guess it would be,” he uttered, idly eying the emerald liquid upon his tissue. A hand laid upon his arm, and for some reason Ripp felt hot under the collar as he looked back up at him. There was a sadness in his eyes, understandable given his skirmish earlier, but there was also a kindness hinting that finally there was someone Ripp could turn to.

“I’m Johnny, by the way,” he introduced, a sheepish smile playing upon his lips as he realised they hadn’t even met.

“Ripp,” came the reply as they shook hands, Ripp marvelling at his gentle touch. “Johnny’s a cool name, wish I had a name like that.”

Johnny chuckled at his remark, before delivering his own.

“Ripp’s not bad,” he grinned, “Better than Tank.”

Ripp sniggered at his comment. “Yeah, true,” he smiled, finding himself trying to disguise the coy nature of that smile as he began to study Johnny’s features. Despite the bruises and the bloodied nose, Johnny wasn’t at all unpleasant to the eye, and Ripp was drawn to his smile and the gleam in his eyes.

“Look,” Johnny began, quickly pulling him from his happy ponderings, “If you wanna talk, I’ll be happy to listen.”

Ripp smiled with a mixture of gratitude and unhappiness as he considered his offer. It wasn’t as though he was in a position to judge after all, they were both frowned upon by the rest of society. Telling him of his orientation would be the easy part however, he mused.

“That’s very nice of you,” he accepted, “There’s a helluva lot to get through though…”

“I can tell,” Johnny observed, again laying a hand on his arm. “There’s a lot of pain there that needs to come out…”

Ripp’s eyelids bunched tightly together as his eyes ached, allowing the tears to trickle down his cheeks as the words of his new friend pierced his very soul.

She eyed the sleeping boy with a disgusted stare. Tank had become a bully? Where did all this spiteful talk come from? No, wait, that sounded familiar… Buzz! He’d been teaching their little boy to hate?! Unbelievable… Why did she have to take the short cut that night? Why couldn’t she have kept to the main streets? She did usually, so why were things so different? That act of foolishness had cost her life, and now she had no way to reach any of her children in this dark time, when they needed her so badly.

The night was crystal clear, the stars glistening upon the black velvet of the dark sky as Lyla ambled down the side-street. She hummed a tune to herself as she walked, her eyes darting about with no more than curiosity as she noticed movement in the shadows.

“Hey there baby,” a man’s voice purred in a low tone, laced with menace as its owner stepped into sight.

“Hi,” she greeted in a cheery manner, aiming to disguise the anxiety now growing within as her heartbeat quickened. “Not tonight thanks, I gotta get home.”

Another man appeared before her, joined by a third. Her face became serious as she realised she couldn’t joke herself out of this one.

“Look, I’ve got three little boys,” she persuaded, “Just let me go home, huh?”

A grimy hand clamped over her mouth as she was pulled into the darkness.

Ripp thrashed about in his bed as the scene unfolded before his mind’s eye, trying valiantly to drown out his mother’s screams as the tears began to flow freely down his cheeks.

“No,” he whimpered drowsily, “Mom…!”

Johnny’s brow twitched into a puzzled frown as he stirred from his slumber, his tired eyes widening in disbelief as he realised that Ripp was in the grip of what was plainly a terrible dream. He tried to sit up as he urged the troubled youth to wake from his agitated sleep.

The violence reached a crescendo in Ripp’s mind, pulling him bolt upright in his bed as a pained cry resounded from the depths of his throat.

“Nooooooooooooooooo!!”

Lyla’s ghost vanished as he awakened, leaving the stricken boy screaming and crying as it transpired what had happened. It was plain now, he had been fed those dreams by her somehow, and he had witnessed her murder. His mother was dead, his father a monster. His anguished heart felt it all too much to take.

“Hey, ssh, it’s okay…” Johnny soothed as he ran an arm across Ripp’s shoulders, but his words seemed to carry no weight.

“Mom!!”

Lights blinked into life from outside the room, their glare filtering through the gaps between Johnny’s door and its surroundings. The door then opened, intensifying the glow in the room and antagonising Johnny’s eyes as he looked up at the approaching figure.

“Hey,” Tank uttered as he sat by Ripp’s side, “It’s okay, just a bad dream…”

“It wasn’t just a dream!” Ripp whimpered in reply, “It was Mom…”

“Mom?” Tank checked in bewilderment.

“She’s dead Tank, I just saw it happen!”

Tank at first stared aghast at his younger brother, but his logical side was quick to sweep such news under the carpet.

“Whad’ya mean you saw it?” he challenged, “That’s impossible!”

“I don’t get it myself, but it’s for real, I swear!” Ripp protested, “It was like watching a movie!”

As movement beyond the room hinted at the volume of Ripp’s cries, Tank was left wondering whether the cracks were already beginning to show in his brother, or whether there could be any truth in his words. This was Strangetown after all, and however unoriginal its name, it had been called that for a reason.