Chapter Twenty-two

Lilith had seen enough. Not wishing to dive too deeply into the private affairs of people she barely knew, she decided on the safe route as she approached the boys she had once frowned upon. There was no time to allow barriers to come between them; in fact a look at the angry youth told her the red head may not have much longer to live.

“I got him,” she offered, taking hold of Ripp’s quaking shoulder, “Go on.”

Johnny needed no second instruction. Satisfied that Ripp was in safe hands, he went trotting up to the hulking presence by the wall and firmly clutched at his arm.

“Cut it out!” Johnny snapped, pulling him away from the smaller youth. Tank glared at the green youth in reply as he turned to him, and although this time his anger was justified and aimed at someone else, it still brought back memories to Johnny of their past conflict.

“Get in line, you said!” Tank retaliated in a raised voice, his fists clenched. “You know what he did!”

“If one of you’d let me explain…!” the boy protested.

Tank’s head spun back in his direction, his mouth open about to deliver another scathing reply, but Johnny silenced him with a tap on his arm.

“Hey!” Johnny bit, his tone softened as he glanced knowingly at the flame haired lad by their side, “As temptin’ as it is to tear his throat out, remember where we are. We’re all here to get help, right?”

“Me included,” the boy attested as he glowered at the bigger of the two.

Tank glanced back at him through narrowed eyes before marching off a little, slamming a fist against the wall in an attempt to ease the pressure building in his veins.

“Thanks,” the red head told Johnny with a sigh of relief, but his gratitude was short lived as the blond alien scowled at him in reply.

“Hey,” Johnny warned the lad as he waved a threatening finger, “Count yourself lucky; if it were anywhere else I’d be holdin’ you down, not savin’ your ass.”

“Look,” the young man pleaded, “When I realised what’d happened, I felt sick. I tried to apologise at the time, but he’d already left…”

Johnny crossed his arms as he studied the freckled features of the boy before him, not hiding the anger burning in his eyes.

“So how’d you let it get that far in the first place?!” Johnny exploded, “Do you have any idea what he’d already bin through before you tore ‘im open?!”

“Stop, please...” the youth whimpered, cradling his head in his hand. Johnny’s mouth opened in readiness to continue his onslaught, but on spotting the now troubled appearance of the boy before him, he soon closed it.

“It’s hard to explain, especially here,” the boy began, “I lost control, an’ by the time it was over it was too late. In fact I threw up when it dawned on me, okay?!” His voice rose in frustration and distress as he continued. “I was that disgusted at myself I was physically sick, and I shut myself in my room for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t even go down for dinner; if I couldn’t face myself, what chance did I have with my parents!?”

Johnny and Tank exchanged looks of disbelief as the half-alien’s arms loosened a little.

“You mean they know?” he checked.

The red head smiled wryly in reply.

“Yeah, they know,” he confessed, “Although they had to drag it from me after noting how quiet I was… Which they thought was something else at first, but that’s beside the point.”

He allowed the other boys a moment to process what they’d been told so far, as he gazed upon the sobbing bundle in Lilith’s arms. He nodded gently in Ripp’s direction as he continued to speak.

“I went flyin’ outta my room to try and make it up to him,” he told them, “By the time I opened the front door though, he’d already been driven away by the waiting cab.”

The others studied his body language intently as he turned back to them.

“He ain’t going anywhere now,” he hinted, “Please…”

“It’s okay,” she soothed quietly as Ripp’s tears began to dry.

Ripp turned slowly to Lilith as her words drifted into his troubled mind. As his glassy eyes fell upon her, the tears still present distorted his vision of the female by his side. No longer did he see the teenager who’d given Johnny and him grief at the festival, but someone completely different.

His eyes took on a pleading manner as he uttered a single word.

“Mom...?”

So saying, he advanced in one movement to wrap his arms around her, burying his head into her shoulder.

Lilith’s brow twitched into a puzzled frown as she caught him, but decided for now to play along. Holding him close as though they really were related in such a way, she began to stroke his head as she pondered all that was taking place. What had happened to this boy to reduce him to such a state?

A little voice in her ear gave an indication of his anxieties as he clung to her.

“He hurt me, Mom...”

“It’s okay,” she replied quietly, “He can’t hurt you now.”

“Please, just let me make it up to him...”

Johnny hesitantly eyed the youth before looking back to his partner, frowning as he spotted him nestled in Lilith’s arms. His gaze moved to Tank, both of them asking each other silently if such a move was wise. Eventually Johnny shrugged, laying a hand on the boy’s shoulder as he took them across.

Lilith looked at Johnny as they approached, speaking quietly in way of an explanation.

“He called me Mom...!” she told him, watching for a reaction.

Johnny’s head lowered in despair, while Ripp stirred from the depths of her arms, regaining his grip on reality as he looked sheepishly at her.

“Sorry,” he muttered as he pulled away, again looking crestfallen.

“It’s okay,” she told him, while Johnny approached to run his fingers through his brown mane. The red head by their side also lowered his gaze as Ripp’s situation became more apparent.

“Look,” Johnny began, “The guy wanted to say somethin’...”

As Ripp returned his gaze, he caught a glimpse of the boy in question. Suddenly his manner changed, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the lad who’d inflicted such pain upon him.

“Oh really?!” he snarled, his blood bubbling furiously in his veins as he straightened to full height.

“Look, Ripp...” the boy began, but Ripp didn’t let him continue.

“You hurt me!!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air as he began his tirade, “I dunno, was I not yellin’ or even screaming enough for you to hear the word ‘stop’, or was it just too much for you to understand?! I was in fucking agony you bastard!! We use lube for a reason y’know, I’m surprised I didn’t need stitches!”

Already the picture was painted before Lilith’s eyes of what had happened between the two, although Ripp was far from finished.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me,” Ripp continued, his voice quieter and now carrying a sardonic tone, “Remember what I said about condoms? Weren’t good enough for you to rip me open, you had to leave a couple of souvenirs too...!?”

The boy had heard enough by now. Holding up his hands, he urgently pressed forward his wish to speak.

“Whoa, whoa,” he challenged, “What souvenirs?”

Ripp looked at him in amazement, for a moment robbed of his ability to speak as he pondered his apparent ignorance.

“Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia,” he replied, frowning a little at the boy’s puzzlement, “That’s what souvenirs, didn’t you know?”

The red head shrugged helplessly in reply, before a hand sub-consciously scratched at his crotch. Ripp noticed the gesture and gave a knowing smile in reply.

“Must’ve caught ‘em off one of the others, huh?” he suggested bitterly, before indicating the youth’s uncomfortable demeanour. “That’s one of the signs y’know, intense itching?”

Something in Ripp’s last remark registered in Lilith’s mind as she sharply looked at him. Ripp seemed to notice and turned to her briefly.

“Yeah, that’s why I looked like I had itching powder in my shorts,” he explained, turning back to the now worried looking boy before them. “You’d better get yourself checked out, Luke.”

Luke was left cradling his head in his hand at the revelation, before he once more found the strength to return his stare.

“Yeah,” he muttered, “Look, um, how’s about you all come back to mine after this?” he suggested, “There’s a reason Mom and Dad stood by me after hearin’ of this.”

Ripp stared at Luke in wonder at his last statement.

“They know about this?” he checked.

“Yeah. Long story,” came the elusive response, “But you really need to hear it from them as well as me.”

Tank arched an eyebrow at Johnny, before giving a resigning shrug.

“Fair enough,” he accepted, “We can meet in the local park…”

“That won’t be necessary,” Ripp interrupted before eyeing his brother, “I still remember where he lives.”

Tank’s face fell as he realised what Ripp was implying.

“So,” he began slowly, “You not only met with strangers, you went back to their homes too?!”

“Tank,” Johnny cut in, “Not now, huh? Things are bad enough as it is.”

Ripp’s eyes played upon the carpet, wishing the pile was dense enough to consume his very soul.

“Later then,” Tank promised as he studied the smaller form before him.

“Okay, I’ll catch ya later then,” Luke nodded, “An’ while you guys are talking, I’ll go get this seen to,” he finished, tugging at the front of his jeans.

“Good idea,” Johnny agreed, but found himself talking to his back as Luke hastily left the premises.

“Yeah, that’s what I was like after school too,” Ripp explained, “Once I heard I might’ve caught something, I was straight down the clinic.”

“Look,” Lilith uttered, “I had no idea, I’m sorry...”

Ripp gave a sad smile as his previous dark cloud crept upon him once more.

“Me too,” he breathed in reply.

“Look,” Tank told her, “You never heard any o’ this, got it?”

Lilith arched a knowing eyebrow as she looked across at the muscular figure.

“Heard what?!” she challenged, “I weren’t even here, I was some place else. Saw good reason why you guys weren’t at school, but weren’t any o’ my business so I didn’t ask.”

Tank nodded in acknowledgement, a grateful smile on his face.

“Thanks,” he said, his smile taking on a dry manner as he continued. “We won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Got it,” came her reply as she excused herself from their presence.

Lilith usually dreaded the return to her home, but this time she was indifferent as she pondered all that had happened. With all that she suffered within her family, it all now seemed so trivial. She tried to imagine how it must have been for Ripp, to be violated in such a way and to be in such pain, but had to stop when she began to feel physically sick. A new question played on her mind; how did Ripp remain so calm? If it had been her she’d have torn him apart... like Tank nearly did, she remembered. Maybe he would have done it for him, given how much of a softy Ripp was.

She stepped into her abode, brought back to the present as she heard raised voices from the lounge. She followed her ears to find the surprising sight of her twin sister engaged in a heated debate with their mother – Angela was usually the good little girl whom their parents doted on.

“How can you say that!?” Mary-Sue spluttered, “It’s disgusting!”

“They’re in love!” Angela justified, “Which is more than can be said for you an’ Dad...!”

“Don’t bring us into this!”

Lilith’s lips curled upwards into a sardonic smile as she watched the exchange. She had remained quiet for long enough.

“Give the guys a break Mom,” she bit, causing the two other females to turn with a start at her sudden appearance.

“Wait,” Angela mused slowly, “This comin’ from someone who gave ‘em more stick than I did?”

“I bumped into ‘em today,” Lilith cautiously explained, “Ripp was a total mess. Turns out their mom died and Johnny’s been takin’ care of him.”

Angela’s jaw dropped at this news.

“Oh wow,” she muttered, “No wonder they weren’t at school!”

Lilith arched a knowing eyebrow, before eyeing the woman who had given life to them both.

“Y’know, somethin’ I’ve noticed about this family,” she spat, her resentment bubbling over after all she’d encountered previously, “They don’t give a shit about anyone other than themselves! They forget other people have feelings too, and that they have two daughters growing up in this place!”

Not pausing to receive any comeback, she made for the back garden and reached into her pocket as she took a seat, not noticing that she had been followed.

Angela masked her initial surprise on spotting her sister with a cigarette in her hand, but her parting remark was all it took for her to banish any misgivings about Lilith’s habit. In fact, her first intention was to address what she’d said.

“Hey Lil,” she began hesitantly as she approached.

Lilith turned her head in her direction, allowing the smoke to trickle from her nostrils as she sullenly turned away again.

“Look, about what you said...”

Lilith quietly raised an eyebrow as she flicked some ash into the grass, feeling her eyes sting.

“You never got it, did you?” she remarked softly, continuing to eye the ground. “Little Miss Perfect; parents think the sun shines outta her ass, an’ then there’s the useless piece o’ shit left over that no one cares about.”

“Dustin and I’ve been talking a lot,” Angela explained as she sat by her twin, “Gave me a lot to think about.”

Lilith nodded in acknowledgement as she drew from her cigarette.

“Wondered what had changed,” she remarked.

“Yeah,” Angela agreed, “Bet you were wondering how Ripp broke his wrist?”

Lilith turned slowly to her well-informed sister with a deliberate stare.

“I was as it happens,” she concurred, “Well, not at first, but anyways...”

“That was his old man,” Angela explained grimly.

Lilith’s eyes widened as she gaped at her sister.

“Whoa...”

“Yeah, tell me about it...” Angela replied, but trailed off as Lilith began to recite what she knew of the troubled boy.

“Lessee,” she mused, “He’s had the shit beaten outta him by his own dad, his brother’s been a total jerk before now, he’s been attacked, his mom’s died...” She scoffed bitterly as she gave her verdict. “No wonder the poor guy’s in pieces.”

“‘Old on,” Angela said, “Attacked?”

Lilith looked sharply at her as she noticed the slip of her tongue.

“Yeah,” she improvised, “I dunno the details, but he saw the guy who did it. Never seen ‘im get so mad, but thinking about it I’m surprised all he did was yell – Tank was ready to rip his throat out, so it must’ve been bad.”

“Ouch,” Angela muttered, contemplating all she’d heard from whatever source.

“Yeah, exactly,” Lilith agreed, “Kinda makes you realise how lucky we really are, huh?”

“Yeah,” Angela replied, eyeing her sister sadly, “I’m sorry Lil, I didn’t mean for any o’ this to happen...”

Lilith returned her gaze with misty eyes.

“Me too,” came the reply, before something happened that she thought she could only dream of.

“Now Dad’s gone, she’s taking her shit out on us,” Angela explained, “We can’t afford to stay apart anymore, we need to stick together.”

“Too right,” Lilith agreed, “An’ that guy deserves a bouquet for makin’ us realise that.”

Chapter Twenty-one

“I really hope you can help me,” Tank replied to the voice on the other end of the phone, “I’m tryin’ to get my brother and I on some kinda therapy, and everyone’s tellin’ me to wait about a month… If we could wait that long I wouldn’t be tryin’ to get in now!”

Tank managed to calm himself enough to listen to the receptionist tied to the centre he’d contacted. He’d spotted the number while sifting through the phone book, and although his heart sank in disappointment at noting it was a mere charity-driven, drop-in service run by volunteers, by the time he decided to give them a ring he was at the end of his rope.

“Awesome,” he replied, smiling in his relief, “Thank you so much. See ya in a little while.”

Ripp had once more regressed into the subdued, child-like state he’d succumbed to before, quietly nestling into Johnny’s arms as he voiced random thoughts that ran through his mind. As before, Johnny remained in silence as he listened, holding Ripp close and letting him speak. His head rose at the sound of thundering footsteps on the stairs, his eyes resting on the cause as the muscular form quickly appeared into view.

“Come on you guys,” he ordered, “I found us somewhere.”

“Now?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah, it’s a drop-in place,” Tank explained, “We can go whenever, they just see you when they’re free.”

“Not experts though?”

“Couldn’t get any,” Tank replied with a disheartened look, “I’m past carin’ though, so long as someone’ll talk to us, you know?”

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed, tapping Ripp’s leg as he pulled them to their feet. “Come on babes, let’s go.”

For someone who was usually outspoken and sociable, Buzz was strangely quiet as he collected his lunch. With all he’d discovered recently, he was in no mood to tolerate army-talk from his fellow soldiers, deliberately choosing a table that was some way from the rest of the troops as they dined. It didn’t stop people joining his table though, he noticed dryly as a voice disturbed him from his meal.

“Mind if I sit here?”

Buzz opened his mouth about to tell whoever it was that he’d rather be alone, but on gazing up at the enquiring man he quickly closed it.

Instead he nodded as he returned to his meal, grateful for some understanding company. He knew that also meant a high likelihood of more pressing questions, but he reminded himself of the reason why they’d be asked. It didn’t ease the tightening knot in his stomach, however.

Stephan watched him eat for a moment as he took a seat next to him, before gently beginning their conversation.

“How’re things?” he asked, noting the attire of his superior as he continued, “I gather it didn’t go too well yesterday?”

“Oh, it went very well considering,” Buzz replied, “I only got suspended. I was half-expecting to get discharged.”

“Wow,” Stephan remarked, his eyes widening in surprise at his reply, “That bad, huh?”

Buzz’s head lowered briefly as he began to pick at the contents of his bowl.

“Yeah,” he uttered, “It could’ve gone a lot worse.”

“What happened?”

Buzz gave a knowing sigh as he pondered how best to answer.

“I had a big disagreement at home,” he replied carefully, “One of my kids pushed me too far, and things got out of hand…”

Stephan swallowed a difficult morsel of food as a picture began to take shape in his mind.

“Don’t ever have a family if you stay in the army,” Buzz told him, “You may make a great soldier, but kiss your dreams of fatherhood goodbye ‘cause you’ll only fuck it up.”

“Only if you let it happen,” Stephan replied but, as much as he didn’t mean to, he only served to worsen Buzz’s mood.

“It ain’t just me, that’s the problem,” Buzz explained, “I didn’t even turn out as bad as my dad apparently – army life has been a family tradition. I’m starting to wish it wasn’t; maybe my eldest saw it comin’. Turned out he resented me for trying to keep it going, but he never said anything before…” Buzz let the sadness and regret overwhelm him as he continued to drift, willing the tears to come, yet at the same time knowing the taps behind his eyes had long rusted over.

“Maybe he didn’t dare to,” he mused, giving a weak shrug, “All this time he was playing the part while underneath he was crying… or wished he could. Dad always taught me tears are for the weak...”

Stephan had remained quiet, but couldn’t contain the snort of disapproval at the last remark.

“I dunno where he got that from,” Stephan retorted, “Crying is a natural human reflex, it’s how we flush out our pain. It’s like a poison; it needs getting rid of, keep it inside and it destroys you.”

“I know,” Buzz admitted, “So much for Dad knows best, huh?”

“How many kids do you have?”

“Three,” Buzz replied, “Tank’s the oldest at sixteen, Ripp’s a year younger and Buck’s the youngest at ten.”

“Which one’s the reason you’re in trouble?”

“Ripp,” Buzz responded with a heavy heart, “I got a punchbag upstairs, I usually go to that when it gets too much, but for some reason I didn’t this time. He’s pushed me before, but thinking about it I don’t even know why anymore…”

Stephan studied his body language intently as he spoke, before delivering his verdict on the matter.

“Look, you obviously regret it,” he reassured him, “That’s gotta be a good thing, right?”

“Yeah,” Buzz agreed, wrestling valiantly with the rusted taps as he tried to gain even the slightest momentum in the handles, but still not seeing so much as a droplet of water. “At least I didn’t kill him.”

“Kill?” Stephan echoed, wondering where this statement had come from. “You don’t mean literally, I hope?”

“I know, it sounds crazy,” Buzz concurred, “But according to the chief, that’s just what Dad did once. Who I don’t know…” He trailed off as he clamped down on his tongue. “Sorry, I’m talking too much…”

“Hey, it’s cool,” Stephan smiled, “We’re friends, right? Or, at least, it seems you took me up on the offer,” he hastily added.

Buzz gave a little smile as he nodded.

“Sure,” he found himself accepting, “It’s been a long time since anyone’s wanted to listen, guess I’m just not used to it.”

Stephan smiled reassuringly in reply, laying a hand on his arm, and before he could stop himself he gave it a subtle squeeze. He removed his hand as soon as he realised, hoping that the suspended general hadn’t noticed anything amiss.

It wasn’t Buzz he need have been worried about, but the scrutinising eyes of his fellow soldiers instead.

“Whoa,” one of them remarked, “Did you see that?”

“Sure did,” another replied, “You know what they say; you play with fire, you’re gonna get burnt…”

“Just hope for his sake Grunt didn’t suspect anything,” yet another man mused, “The guy’s gonna pulverise him if he did.”

Much to Stephan’s relief, it was apparent that the clouds of despair and guilt were so thick they stifled the general’s ability to judge or reason. Buzz merely gave a faint smile as he idly gazed at where the younger man’s hand had rested before, again allowing himself to drift.

“You know my biggest regret?” he asked before continuing with his answer, “The way I treated Ripp, when he takes so much after his mom… maybe I just couldn’t handle the compassion they showed, ‘cause I’ve been so used to violence and anger… The way he ‘pushed’ when all he was really trying to do was crack the shell… and what’s the thanks I give him? A broken wrist, a bruised face and a battered soul…”

“Any reason you’re thinking about this now?” Stephan asked, resisting the urge to touch him again. He would mean it only in a friendly, comforting way of course, but he couldn’t trust himself to not give any stronger hints at the affection he was already beginning to feel for the tormented man. That feeling only intensified as Buzz turned to him in delivering his answer.

“You remind me of him,” he uttered with despair in his eyes, “It takes a guy I’ve seen around once or twice for me to wonder how I could be such an ass to my own son…”

“Guess it’s easier to see in strangers,” Stephan suggested, losing the battle with himself as he again laid a hand on his arm. “It’s also human nature to reject the unknown, resist change… yet deep down you know change needs to happen, don’t you?”

Buzz solemnly nodded as he pushed away his empty bowl.

“I know I can’t go on like this,” he added, “Love is something else we all crave, and I need to learn to accept it when it’s offered, in whatever form. Ripp’s a smart kid, but I drove him off the rails because I wouldn’t accept him…”

Stephan took his hand from Buzz’s arm and moved it across his shoulder.

“Did you get put on any kind of programme?” he asked gently, “‘Cause it sounds like you really need it.”

“Yeah, I did,” Buzz replied, “Got my first session later today. In fact I’m already starting to wonder if we’ll have long enough.”

“Well, make the most of what you do have,” Stephan advised him, “And if you need to talk in the meantime, I’ll be happy to listen.”

Buzz looked across at him as lunch ended, and the blond soldier began to rise. He gave a little nod and a weak smile before replying.

“Thanks,” he uttered.

Stephan clutched his hand in a parting gesture, again laying the other hand on his arm and letting his touch linger a little too long. Once more he released his grip as he noticed, hoping that the general wouldn’t as he left.

Buzz watched the young man as he went on his way, gazing warmly after him as he sub-consciously stroked his arm.

“Where do they all come from?” he questioned no one in particular, his mind beginning to wander as he continued his musing silently.

Does someone up there really think I’m worthy of all these chances they keep giving me?

Don’t push your luck Mister. You’ve had two chances already – this is your last one. Whatever you do, for God’s sake don’t blow it, you won’t be so lucky again!

“Are you nuts?” one of the men exclaimed as they trained in the gym, “You’re so lucky to make it back in one piece!”

“What’re you on about?” Stephan quizzed, “We just had lunch together, what’s the big deal?”

“You hit on General Grunt?!” another spluttered, “Do you have a death wish or somethin’?”

Stephan sighed as he eyed the offender coolly.

“He was upset so I put an arm round him, so what?”

“Let your hand linger a little too long for that, didn’t you…?”

“Will you cut it out?” Stephan snapped, “Can’t even eat with the man without being spied on!?”

“Just be careful,” one of the soldiers warned, “If he gets the wrong idea he’ll rip you apart.”

Stephan remained quiet, but inside his thoughts ran wild. There were two ways this could go, he considered; either the general didn’t notice – that seemed the more obvious choice. The other was that he did notice, but wasn’t who he appeared to be.

Tank found the receptionist and explained the phone call he’d placed earlier, while Ripp and Johnny stood a small distance away as they looked about themselves. Johnny eyed the fragile youth with a fond sadness as he ran his fingers through his brown hair. Tank gave his thanks to the lady before joining them, laying a reassuring hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“We got long to wait?” Johnny asked.

“Don’t think so,” Tank replied, “They said some other kids are in at the moment, but that they’ve been in there a good while already.”

Johnny nodded in acknowledgement, and both gazed upon the sullen boy who stood between them.

“It’ll be okay sweetie,” Johnny told him gently, draping a comforting arm across his shoulders. Ripp merely snuggled into his chest as he continued to nibble at his fingernails.

“Jus’ like when we were little all over again,” Tank mused as he watched him, “He used to be like that with Mom, when things started goin’ bad.”

All three pairs of ears pricked up on the sound of movement and opening doors. A glimmer of recognition shone in their faces at noticing the teenage girl who left one room, her manner very unlike the last time they met. In fact, they noticed, the black streaks upon her cheeks hinted that there was more to the girl than the spiteful outer layer she had displayed previously.

Lilith’s eyes darted between the three boys before her, hastily brushing away the stained marks from her face before her gaze rested upon the bundle in Johnny’s arms. He looked so different now, she observed, so... vulnerable.

The other room emptied of its previous occupants, heads instinctively turning at the sound of a door latch. A young man of no more than Tank’s age stepped into the lobby looking just as unhappy, although to one in particular that was the least of his concerns.

Ripp stiffened, swallowing a lump in his throat as his eyes locked onto the flame haired lad before them. As the boy returned his stare, his expression also changed as he began to awkwardly adjust his footing.

Tank and Johnny found themselves looking from one to the other, trying to interpret the body language adopted by the two boys who plainly had met before. Under which circumstances was the obvious question, although it didn’t take long before they realised what had happened between them.

The older boys’ eyes narrowed as they found themselves slowly turning back to Ripp, who had adopted the manner of a frightened animal.

“Um, Ripp?” Johnny began, already sure of the answer but checking anyway. “Is this...?”

The little nod given in reply was all it took to send Tank into a flying rage, snarling like an angered lion as he swiftly swooped upon the red headed youth and roughly grabbed him by the shirt, pinning him against the nearby wall.

“Bastard!!” he roared as he did so.

“Tank!” Johnny cried out, but to no avail. He made instinctive movements in the direction of the scuffle that had unfolded, yet his hand remained pinned to Ripp’s shoulder as he looked back at him; as much as he needed to intervene in the nasty situation with Tank, the sight of his younger lover was enough to anchor him to his side.

“It’s okay,” he whispered as he stroked his head, “He can’t hurt you.”

As Johnny held Ripp close however, he eyed the bickering boys in the distance helplessly as his mind raced.

True, but Tank can hurt him. I just hope someone can step in before he turns this place into a bloodbath. I’d gladly do it myself but I can’t leave Ripp like this...

Chapter Twenty

Tank sat on the edge of the bed, stripped to his shorts in readiness for sleep, but in no mood to listen to its call as his head spun from all that had happened earlier. There was only one way he’d be able to rest, he deduced as his hand dove underneath his pillow.

“I got an idea,” Johnny remarked, “Go lay down on your front, I’ll be back in a minute.”

Ripp watched with a frown as the alien youth disappeared, giving a little shrug as the only thing left was to comply with his wishes.

“Come on, there’s gotta be some around somewhere.”

Green eyes scanned the bathroom, before hands of the same hue rummaged in a cupboard.

“Ah,” he grinned as he clutched the object of his desire, “Gotcha.”

Ripp’s head jerked suddenly in the direction of the bedside table as a bottle was placed on its surface. He watched as Johnny climbed onto the bed and took a seat on his rear, before a green arm reached for the bottle of baby oil that had been procured earlier. Ripp gave a little shiver as the cool liquid trickled across the sensitive skin on his back, before Johnny’s hands pressed firmly upon him, travelling the length of his spine.

“Just relax,” Johnny murmured softly, continuing to lovingly massage his back as he spoke, “Good for relieving the tension, somethin’ you could really do with right now.”

It took a while for Ripp to grow used to the pressure applied to his taut muscles, but soon his eyes closed as Johnny gradually drove all the pent up feelings from his body. His breathing became shallow as the emotive toxins trickled from his pores, and an unexpected side-effect took hold as, instead of drifting into a relaxed slumber, Ripp suddenly burst into tears.

Johnny allowed a satisfied smile to play upon his lips as he continued to work.

“Dunno why I didn’t think of this before,” he remarked to no one in particular, “Ain’t just physical tension these things are good for.”

“I gotta stop doin’ this,” Tank grumbled as he sleepily rose from the bedclothes. A combination of late night scrawling in a bid to ease his troubled mind, and being a naturally early riser was a bad one.

Peter whistled to himself as he prepared breakfast, more in a bid to lighten his own mood after the darkness that shrouded the oldest members of his household. The youngest however, including the brother of the afflicted in question, sat in blissful ignorance at the table as they awaited their fuel for the day ahead.

“Thanks,” Buck smiled as he picked up his fork, but the smile upon his lips was a weak one. Peter noticed the shadow of the cloud above his head, but knew better than to pick him up on it. After all, watching your father batter one of your brothers can’t do your mood any favours.

His head turned at the sound of movement, and greeted the young man as he approached.

“Morning,” Peter waved, but frowned as he came into view. “Didn’t you sleep well last night?”

“It’s that obvious, huh?” Tank moaned in reply.

“Come on, get some food inside you,” he invited as they sat to their meal, soon wondering why he’d been surprised to see the youth who usually was always so hungry, now slumped over his plate and picked at the food with his fork.

“No sign of the others yet?” Peter asked, hoping to distract him from his thoughts at least a little.

Tank merely shrugged his shoulders as he forced a forkful of pancake into his mouth, slowly chewing on the food as the jaws of his mind worked at an equally deliberate pace.

Peter gave a little nod of acknowledgement as he loaded his fork.

“Give them a little while,” he remarked to no one in particular, “It’s not like they’re in any rush.”

“Johnny too?” Tank checked.

“He wanted to look after him,” came the reply, “And you need to take it easy, young man.”

Tank smiled dryly as he muttered in reply.

“Take it easy?” he quizzed ironically, “What’s that mean?!”

“Come on Tank,” Peter chided, “You’ll go to pieces if you don’t.”

“Bit late for that,” Tank blurted as he rose sharply from the table, but Peter was quick to intervene.

“Sit down,” he commanded, “Finish your meal; you need to keep your strength up.”

Tank sunk reluctantly back down into his chair, glancing at the owner of the blue eyes as they studied him.

“What’s wrong?” Buck asked.

All Tank could do in reply was slump into his free hand, while the other continued to prod at the food on his plate.

“Mornin’ sweetie,” Johnny greeted as he pecked Ripp’s lips, before tracing the puffy red skin under his glassy blue eyes.

“Hey,” came the sullen reply.

“You okay?”

Ripp gave a wry smile as the back of his left hand glided across the pillowcase.

“Guess so,” he mumbled, “Got a bit hard sleeping on a wet pillow, but never mind.”

Johnny smiled sadly as he reached to caress his shoulder. Ripp crawled across the bed to lay a hand upon his chest, his fingers finding the last traces of salty moisture among the young growth of blond hair. He brushed the droplets away with his hand before deciding the green skin was dry enough to rest his head, his eyes closing momentarily both at the touch of Johnny’s hand as it smoothed down his hair, and the sound of the heartbeat playing softly into his ear.

“It’ll be okay,” Johnny reassured him as they laid together, before something occurred to him. “Oh, I got a lesson later on, but he don’t mind you comin’ with.”

Ripp’s eyebrows twitched into a frown as he looked up at him.

“He?” Ripp asked, “Who’s ‘he’?”

“Ever wondered how I could kick your brother’s ass back then?” Johnny reminded him, “Today’s the day you get to find out.”

“Oh, cool!” Ripp exclaimed. The curiosity piqued by the mention of this new person was enough to blow away the clouds of depression, at least for the time being. Despite his current state of mind, Ripp could never resist the chance to meet with new people, especially if they were friends with someone as apart from the crowd as he felt himself to be.

Unaware of the severity of the situation with his student, the alien mentor hummed softly to himself as he approached the kitchen. His mind wandered as he recalled the conversation they’d had the evening before, trying to sweep aside the instinctive niggle in his mind about the prospect of meeting someone different.

“I can read you like a book.”

He looked in the direction of the voice as he made for a cupboard, but was far from surprised on spotting the source.

“Meaning?” the man challenged the battered form before him.

“You said only last night this person knows him, didn’t you? Yet you still don’t trust him.”

The unblemished figure placed the ingredients on his counter a little too sharply as he gave a conceding sigh.

“Do you blame me?” came the reply.

“Johnny’s green and the boy still mixes with him, doesn’t that mean anything?”

“I am trying,” the robed man uttered, his black eyes misting over as a hand idly travelled to his belly. “It’s too late for you to fear, you’re already dead.”

The alien ghost eyed the man with an arched eyebrow and crossed arms as he watched him prepare his breakfast.

“True,” came the reply, “On the other side of the coin, I have a clearer view of all that happens.”

The living being cocked his head briefly in acknowledgement of his remark, before their conversation was abruptly cut short. An agonised cry escaped his throat as his hand clutched his lower abdomen, green fingers gripping the edge of the counter as he hunched over with a vice-like pain taking hold of his stomach.

“Oh dear,” the ghost observed, rummaging through a cupboard while grateful that moving objects wasn’t necessarily a physical task. Tablets and a glass half filled with water were placed on the counter by the food, as the spirit gazed upon the stricken man.

“Get those inside you,” he told him before moving off, “Hope you’re not running low.”

The person remaining in the kitchen guzzled greedily at the water as he washed down the tablets, before making painstaking movements across to the bathroom. He smiled to himself as he noticed everything needed was already resting by the basin.

“Ah, bless your soul,” he mused sadly as he closed the door, “No longer alive, but that doesn’t stop you looking after your brother, eh?”

Tank had heaved an inward sigh of relief when the children left for school, and with Peter occupied elsewhere, it left him free to do the only thing he could think of to distract himself. His tears once more frozen inside, he began to scrub at surfaces that may not have even needed attention, but in his current state of mind he was in no position to care.

The aged alien noticed him work as he came back inside, having delivered his message about the absent teenagers to the driver of the bus that would normally be taking them to school. When the sixteen year old started dusting at the banister, Peter decided it was time to step in.

“Tank,” he began, “I appreciate the help, but it’s really not necessary.”

Tank gave a meek shrug, continuing to polish the wood. Peter approached and laid a halting hand on the young arm.

“If you really want to occupy yourself,” Peter suggested, “Why don’t you do what you were doing at the Specter house yesterday, and find out about getting some help for yourselves?”

The pair of blue eyes gazed at him as the owner caved in, passing the duster to Peter’s outstretched hand before slinking up the stairs to retrieve his notes.

“They’re getting worse, I swear. It’s reaching the point where I don’t want to fall asleep, because I just know I’ll get one of those damn nightmares again. Not that I even have to sleep to get some kind of reminder that something happened, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was. All I’m getting are pieces of the puzzle; that scar on my chest – back when I was moving up the ranks, other men would say it looked like an old knife wound. Then that talk with the chief about recurring flashbacks, finding out my father had killed someone. I would say one thing had nothing to do with another, but I was supposed to have tried to report what happened, and I can’t remember anything about that either. In fact, now I consider it, about Tank’s eyes when he tried to get me off Ripp that evening… they didn’t look angry, just familiar…”

Buzz trailed off as his mind drifted back in time, to a hospital room and a baby in a bassinet.

“I can’t believe you called him Tank,” Lyla giggled, “Poor kid’s gonna have such a hard time at school…!”

“What’s wrong with being named after a sturdy fighting vehicle?”

“He might be a softy like his mom!” she replied.

Buzz gave a little chuckle as he gazed down at the tanned infant in his temporary cot.

“He’s even got my eyes, I think…” she remarked, but trailed off as she started to question the integrity of her statement.

“I don’t think so,” Buzz corrected, finding himself wondering just where the little boy had inherited the features from. The shape of his eyes bore no resemblance to either parent. Someone else peered up at him, and Buzz studied the baby’s face with mixed feelings as he began to recognise the original owner of those particular qualities.

“How’d you get your granddad’s eyes, huh?” he asked gently, forcing a smile as he stroked his son’s foot.

“Dad??” he exclaimed, the diary and pen roughly tossed aside as he sprung to his feet. His hand gripped the area of his scar as a phrase resounded through his mind, adding strength to his suspicions.

“Sorry son, but it’s for your own good.”

Buzz began to pace the room anxiously as he voiced the thoughts now racing through his head.

“My god…” he uttered, “My father tried to kill me? Why??”

“Whose blood was on that knife… was it mine, or the last poor guy he’d supposedly killed… Maybe both? Is that why, because I’d seen him do it? Come to think of it, what was he doing with the knife in the first place? I mean, I know he’d have his moments, and there were plenty thanks to that damn vice of his, but even when drunk he wouldn’t go that far, would he?”

Stephan coolly eyed his fellow soldiers as they cleaned up for the day ahead, and bit the bullet as he stepped onto the concrete floor. A relieved smile played upon his lips as he recognised one of the faces to be friendly, hoping that it would be enough to get him through one of his least favourite times of the day as he found a spare shower.

He gave an involuntary shudder as the icy water cascaded down his body, delivering a sobering slap to the face that would refresh him more readily than the strongest blend of coffee. A voice next to him gave a reminder of the real reason he detested showers, and it was nothing to do with the action itself.

“Hey Mitch, can I ask you somethin’?”

Stephan gave a little snort as he lathered up his hands and applied them to his body.

“You’re going to anyways,” came the response.

“What do you see in him?”

“Ah, that one again,” he acknowledged, not once looking across at the man querying him.

“It’s a fair enough question,” another one asked, “Of all the guys you could dream of, you pick a high ranking officer who could double as a walkin’ time-bomb.”

“He’s a good man,” Stephan defended as he continued to scrub.

“He’s a jerk!”

The friendly face spotted earlier, belonging to Matthew Picaso, gave a snigger as he chipped in.

“Of course he is, he’s a general!” he teased, “Generals are paid to be assholes.”

Stephan giggled quietly at his remark.

“Didn’t he get suspended?” one of them challenged.

“Yeah, wonder what that was for,” another agreed, “Startin’ one fight too many, maybe?”

Stephan shook his head at the gossip filtering through the air.

“Give the guy a break,” he justified, “He’s got problems; he needs someone to lean on, not point a finger.”

“Pssh,” one retorted, “That mushy streak of yours’ll get you in trouble one of these days.”

“Yeah, what’s gonna happen when he finds out you suck cock?” another tested.

Stephan rolled his eyes at the derogatory comment, wondering whether or not to bother acknowledging it.

“Will you leave the guy alone?” Matthew decided for him, “So what if he prefers guys? It’s not even like he’s tried it on any of us, is it?”

“No, he’s got his eyes on that general instead.”

Stephan sighed in exasperation as he shut off the shower, and finally turned to the men delivering such pre-empted verdicts.

“Did I ever say that? Huh?!”

“Come on,” came the reply, “You’re always talkin’ about him!”

“So fuckin’ what?!” Stephan retaliated, “I’m gay, I show concern for another man, therefore I’m holding a torch for him. You guys are pathetic!”

“It’s kinda obvious,” came the observation, “All these nicer guys on camp, and you never talk of any of them the way you do with this one.”

“None of the others look so unhappy…”

“Would you be as worried about anyone else if they did?”

“Oh, he would,” Matthew answered as he left his own shower, “Guy’s got a sympathetic streak a mile wide.”

Stephan smiled sadly as a twinge of melancholy tugged at his heart.

“Wish it was,” he corrected.

“Oh yeah,” Matthew acknowledged, “Beg your pardon, empathetic streak.”

“Better,” Stephan nodded as he left the showers, making for the bench housing the pile of clothes waiting for him.

“You okay?” Matthew asked as he sat down.

“Yeah, just pissed off,” Stephan admitted, “It’s got so I can’t stand showers, we go through this every morning lately.”

“It’s none of their business,” Matthew told him, “You know what rumours are like.”

“Pff, yeah,” Stephan agreed sourly, “All it took was my showing concern, and now they keep implying I wanna get with him. If I was straight it wouldn’t be a problem.”

Matthew glanced around the room to eliminate any chance of being overheard, before leaning in closer and speaking with a hushed voice.

“So what’s the real story?” he asked the blond soldier, “Is it only friends you wanna be with this guy, or are you hopin’ for something more?”

Stephan gave a shrug as he began to dress.

“Too early to say,” came the evasive reply, “Although I do seem to be drawn to the emotionally unstable.”